Friday, February 27, 2015

Crochet St. Patrick's Day is a LOT OF WORK

Should we start hiding soon?
Bah, that sounds like work.
True true.
Where'd you hide your pot of candy?
I'm not telling you.
Are you going to the Leprechaun party this weekend?
Mmm, it sounds like a trick to steal my pot of candy.
Oh yeah, it does sound suspicious. I mean, who likes Leprechauns?
No one, that's who.
But there was going to be candy.
Hmmm, might be worth it.

A Leprechaun
They show up unannounced,
They steal all the candy, then bounce.
They're kind of crass
And always calling me lass. 
Who likes them anyway? Kids they say.
Well, I'll show them this year, I'll throw a party
And only serve beer. 
Then they won't come 
And ruin all the fun.
Yeah, that's what I'll do, 
And I'll serve chips and guacamole too.

Interested in making your own leprechaun? Find the pattern HERE

Thursday, February 26, 2015

A Crochet Bee, You See?

Wow, I thought those two were not going to stop.

So ....
There's this person I like and they're pretty special to me.
I was thinking of asking them to the St. Patty's Day parade at three.
It's not for a few weeks, which would give us some time.
To go out on a date, somewhere we can dine.
I could tell them about that flower I like,
The one I've been watching all day and at night.
I don't want the others to find it you see,
It's special, but I'd share it, if my special someone would share it with me.
So what do you think? Should I go ask them out?
Or should I stay quiet in worry and in doubt.
What am I saying? I know what you'll say,
You'll tell me to ask them right now, today.
Thanks for your help, thanks for your ear,
I know I was being silly, living in fear.
If they say no, then it wasn't meant to be.
But I know they'll say yes, because I'm awesome just being me.


Wednesday, February 25, 2015

Crochet Piglet Loves His Friends

He picked on me! Can you believe it? He's my brother and he was mean, you wouldn't believe me unless you'd seen it. He was laughing and giggling, he thought I was crazy. Just because I want an Oscar for my hard work, being so lazy. I mean, it takes work you know? To get out of all my chores. I need to think all week of ways to get ignored. I've done sick, and tired, and bruised and ill, I'm running out of chances to claim my stomach hurts because I ate my fill.

It's ok man, I'm sure he says it out of love. Just remember, he does all the work you don't. He really goes beyond and above. So maybe say thank you, you know, for all the work he does. And maybe get him chocolates, you know the ones he loves.

Ok, but I'm not sharing my Oscar.

Tuesday, February 24, 2015

Crochet Pig Controversy

Did you really just use the Monday Morning Confessions to talk about the Oscars?
Were you listening?! So rude, you should be ashamed dude.
Don't start, you're crazy. You were whining about not winning an Oscar, you baby.
I deserve one! I do. I've been acting all over the place - over there yesterday and now with you.
That's not acting, that's breathing, it's hardly the same. You need to be in a MOVIE, like Chicago or the Hunger Games.
I was in a movie! I was! I swear, I was laughing and crying and pretending to be a bear. 
Hmm, sounds like a Razzy to me, but who am I to judge, oh wait, I'm a critic, watch out! It's the fuzz.
Ugh, you'll write me a bad review, and I'll cry my eyes out. I'll cry and kick my feet and get mom to yell at you and shout.
I take it back, you do deserve an Oscar, for whininess and crazy. Come on, we've got work to do. Time to stop being lazy.
Fine! I'll go, but this isn't over. I'm gonna be famous one day and my picture will be ALL OVER!

Monday, February 23, 2015

Post Oscars Recap Per the Crochet Pig

Yes, I watched the Oscars 2015. Oh yes I did. I watched the dancing and that thing the guy did. I saw the singing, I laughed at the jokes, I cried that one time - along with all the other folks. It was emotional and spiritual and entertaining and great. It was magic and lighting and for some you'd say fate. I wish I had an Oscar, I'd treat it so well. I'd shine it every day and talk to it and take it for walks and at night say fare well. But I don't, but I should, and there you have it, say me. I guess there's always next year, in 2016.


Friday, February 20, 2015

Friday Night Crochet Party

I brought the soda,
I brought the chips,
I mixed the music,
I twirled and dipped.

It's time to celebrate,
It's time to Have. Some. Fun.
Friday takes all week,
And now it's time to get down.

Don't fret my friends,
It's gonna to Be. All. Right.
Don't get all worried,
We're gonna have some fun tonight. Woo woo.

I brought the owls,
I brought the mice,
I brought that kookie guy,
I rolled the dice.

It's time to let it go,
It's time to Throw. It. Down.
Don't be silly,
It's not time to wear a frown.

Don't fret my friends,
It's gonna to Be. All. Right.
Don't get all worried,
We're gonna have some fun tonight. Woo woo.

Thursday, February 19, 2015

Where Did that Crochet Elephant Go?

We're walking through the city,
Looking for something pretty.
This isn't a city?
Now you're just being witty?
Don't get all up-setty.
We'll just go little bitty.

Hey Jan, what's up man?
Did you see that pie, way up in the sky?
A cloud you say? No way.

Walking through the woods,
Headed where there's foods.
Gonna meet some dudes,
Doing all we could.

Oh oh oh yeahhhhh,
Oh oh oh Bahhhhh,
Che cho dee doooooo
Lee la lee loooooooo

Walk here and on,
Walking till we're gone.
Waiting for you to crack,
Or your head to smack.
Rhyming skills I lack,
Or would you call it a knack,
To be this smack? Oh yeah, not taking that back.

[Is smack a word? I'm hoping it means cool.....]

Wednesday, February 18, 2015

I'm on a Crochet Elephant Journey

I'm headed to Gary's house to celebrate.
Today's my birthday, I'm turning eight.
Did you want to come and hang out with me?
I'm hoping you say yes, 'cause I'm lost you see.
Could you lead the way and we'll go together?
If you get tired I'll carry you, you like light as a feather.
Want to hang together at the party when we arrive?
I don't really know anyone and I'm stuck there till five.
Yeah, I know the party's for me.
But people make me nervous and it makes me want to flee.
Thanks again for your help and I'm sorry if I sound whiny,
I fell down that hill and bruised up my ....

[Want your own elephant? Get one here]

Tuesday, February 17, 2015

Crochet Cats Tend to Forget A Lot

Last week when you said, you were looking forward to the weekend. I didn't know you didn't know, I thought you were talking about Jen. Did she really yell all that loud and get so super mad? Didn't you tell her you were headed out of town with your old college roommate Thad? I mean, it's Jen, she loves you and she knows you love her too. Whatever you did, I almost feel like I should be mad at you too. Just come down and we'll talk and we'll figure this out, I'm sure it's not so bad, you're just riddled with doubt. We can get coffee and cookies with sprinkles with whip cream and I'll hang with you while you cry and beg and apologize to Jen for being mean. Just don't do this again will you? It stresses me out. I don't like being the go between, especially when I don't know what its all about.

Why I Love My Friends
Friends are loyal and caring and sweet.
Friends help you out when you make bad choices like walking on fire with bare feet.
Friends talk you down, when you're standing at the edge,
And slap you on the head for almost braking your pledge.
Friends forgive the biggest mistakes of all,
Friends are always there to catch you when you fall.
Friends will eat your awful food and laugh at your jokes,
Friends will be nice to new girlfriends and chit chat with your folks.
Friends are forever and will always be true.
Friends are the best, NOW STOP BEING MEAN TO STEW!!!

[Want your own crochet kitty? Get one here]

Monday, February 16, 2015

Crochet Love Can Be Fickle

I spent hours on those cookies,
Weeks on that gift.
He got me a poker set,
And took me out for chips and dip.

I asked his mom, what food he liked,
Then took a class on how to cook it just right.
I went to that special bakery, all the way across town.
Just for the croissants he likes, you know, the upside down frowns.

He got me a card, probably last night.
He forgot to sign it, and there was no gift, no nothing, now I'm itching for a fight.

I mean, who does that? Seriously, not even a real gift?
It's not like I'm all that picky, but poker wasn't it.
I don't even play, nor do I want to learn,
He just got it for himself, the whole thing makes my blood churn.

I'm not buying ice cream for him anymore!
And no more last minute strips to the store.
No food in the house?
Poor baby, eat a mouse!

[I'm sure he really thought she'd like the poker, don't you?]

Friday, February 13, 2015

Singing About Crochet Love

I've got two hearts and a happy grin,
Don't you want to come on over and snuggle in?
I'll tell you a tale of love and cheer,
No no, my friend, we're being happy over here.
Bring your best bud and your sister Ruth,
We're gonna spin tall tales, not gonna tell the truth.
It's a party today and we're gonna celebrate,
Being single and happy, filled with joy not hate.
We've got each other, no need to be blue,
So not everyone has found their love so true.
I've got you! And that's pretty alright,
We're always hanging out, and going out at night.
We've got season tickets to our favorite game,
And really, dinner at posh restaurants is kinda lame.
I'd rather eat popcorn and argue over pizza,
Then listen to jazz or stare at the Mona Lisa.
I'm glad I've got my friends and happy to be free,
To be silly, and goofy, and really just me.
So here's to you, my friends who're more like family,
Happy Valentine's Day to you, I say pretty happily.

Thursday, February 12, 2015

A Crochet Elephant Love Story

It's three days to go,
And hey, you never know.

I could meet the person of my dreams,
Or be plagued by angry screams.

It's hard being a pachyderm,
No one gets me, everyone's too stern.

I like to play and be silly,
I want to wear hats and something frilly.

My heart says there's someone for me,
I just need to keep my eyes open and heart free.

Come on! Love so true and pure,
I'm right here, I'm ready, I'm sure.

Ok, I get it,
You're waiting till the last minute.

I'll just wait till the 14th of the month,
But THEN begins the hunt.

I'll find you for sure this year,
Never fear,
Your true love is right here. 

Wednesday, February 11, 2015

A Crochet Heart is Lovely

A heart so bright and pink,
It really makes me think.

I'm sitting here alone, 
But I don't really want to go home.

I want to search out the turtle that's right
Who'll make me happy, not fight.

Who'll be there through it all,
After work, old age, and when I fall.

Who'll watch movies with me,
Especially the ones made for TV.

So I'm off to go search high and low,
And you never know.

It could be you.

Tuesday, February 10, 2015

Crochet Valentine Dating

Well Marv, here we are. In the park of all places.
I know! It's crazy seeing smiles on everyone's faces.
You'd think it was Valentine's Day!?
And seriously it's not.
There's still four days to go, those crazies forgot!
They're just excited and who wouldn't be.
A day so great, you get hugs and kisses and CANDY!
love candy.
Alright, alright. Let's leave these love birds to their fun,
I saw a good spot over there, lets snuggle in the sun.

Monday, February 9, 2015

Monday Morning Confessions of an Octopus

I was wearing my dress,
But I must confess, I was a bit of a mess.

I'd eaten spaghetti sauce, 'cause I'm the boss,
But the dress I had to toss.

So there I was in a shirt and skirt, trying to flirt;
But he fell in the dirt, and we were late to the concert.

We had a lot of fun, but then I had to run.
I knew the date wasn't done, but I was under the gun.

I had work the next day, and I really couldn't stay,
I'm head dancer at the ballet and lack of sleep makes be stray.

So I shouted goodbye, and winked my eye,
He waved into the sky, what a great guy.

We missed our good bye kiss
I hope he didn't take it as a diss,
Maybe next time, Chris.

Friday, February 6, 2015

An Alien Picnic

In luck or in love,
These two come from up above.
They're locked in a struggle,
Over who gets to snuggle.
I'm telling you true,
They don't know what to do.
One likes the cat,
The other wants to chase it with a bat.
The dog is a lover,
But he steels all the covers.
So who gets to cuddle,
In the middle of this double?
A cat who can purr,
But also meows and licks its fur?
Or the dog who snores,
And wiggles and whines and more?
I say Neether and Nighthor and nor.
I say they both sleep on the floor.

[No cats or dogs were harmed in the making of this poem. Names and places have been changed to protect the innocent.]

Thursday, February 5, 2015

A Little Crochet Love.

I got this heart for you
So you won't feel blue.
But I am blue.
That's true.

I got this heart for you
Because I didn't know what to do
To show my love for you.
But you do, you stick to me like glue.
That's true.

I got this heart because I love you,
Because to you I will be true,
With all the old and all the new,
And even though you’re blue,
Or maybe because you’re blue,
I just love you.
And I’ll stick to you like glue
Until there’s nothing left to do.

That sounds nice. 

Wednesday, February 4, 2015

Are Crochet Turtles Gossips or Truth Tellers?

Did you see what May got in the mail yesterday?
A tray?
No way.
A beret?
I won't say. 
Sheesh, May, tell me today!
A rose from Ray.

[Ah love and all it's splendid splendors. I prefer movie time myself. Nothing like time together. Plus, flowers make my nose tingle...and run...and my head hurt. You get the idea! Go out and hug your honey is all I'm sayin']

Tuesday, February 3, 2015

Crochet Leprechaun Pattern

Hey everyone! I'm very excited to say I've completed a new pattern just in time for St. Patrick's Day next month. If you'd like to try it out, you can purchase a copy of the pattern on Ravelry or 

Thanks again and keep checking out Crochet By Karin for new patterns, stories, and a wee bit of humor. 

Crochet Cats are Forgetful

What did you get your friend?
Nothing! I can't think of anything. I have no idea. What am I going to do?
Wow, no flowers?
I know! 
I'm sure you'll think of something.
I'm going to go lay down. I think better asleep.

A Gift is a Gift
I got a doll.
Not a bat, not a ball.
I doll.
I'd yell and scream,
But would you get what I mean?
I like sports,
And building forts.
Climbing trees,
And dirtying my knees.
A doll is silly,
I'm not frilly.
Not cheeky or peeky or 
Hide and Seeky
I want a football, a basketball,
With me, a doll might fall
Against a wall
or get crumpled into a ball. 
And then I'd have a ball!
Ok ok, go ahead and go to the mall.

[Picking gifts is stressful. That's why I just buy candy. Most people like candy.]

Purchase your own Kitty at Etsy/CrochetByKarin
Get the pattern when you purchase my book Henry is Brave

Monday, February 2, 2015

Crochet Octopii Have Too Many Limbs

I was sitting drinking a soda, how I was I supposed to know that I'd grabbed all the drinks?! I mean, it was like 30 seconds left on the clock, it looked like everything was going to turn sideways. It was FREAKING EXCITING!! Ok, ok. so I don't actually need 6 drinks, but really, I would have grabbed all 8 if I wasn't also trying to not fall off the couch. And really, I brought those drinks. Seriously.

Purchase your own baby octopus at Etsy/CrochetByKarin

Sunday, February 1, 2015

Crochet Football 2015

Today on the field, two teams will meet.
One will be victorious,
One will accept defeat.

The players will run,
The quarterback throw,
A kicker will punt,
To where? Who knows.

I'm hoping for catches, way out in the end zone.
I'm hoping for diving passes,
To tight ends mistakenly left alone.

I'll be screaming along and crying my eyes out,
Hoping for victory!
Hoping no one gets an eye poked out.

In the end, one team will win,
And it may not be mine,
But it'll be a great game and soon it'll be time.

[Have fun everyone!! Happy screaming, crying, laughing, and sighing.]

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