Friday, January 30, 2015

New Crochet Relationships

You introduced him to your mom?
Yeah, it went ok actually.
- She was pretty ok. No yelling, totally successful.
Well, ok then, new winner! Octopii moms are the best.
What happened when you introduced your mom to your sweetie?
She hid in her shell for like 2 hours. It was really embarrassing.

A Note to Moms
We love them.
We feed them.
We give them everything.
That's how it goes.
But who knows.
They might end up pretty alright.
Or give us fright after fright after fright
Just take a breath,
Or go complain to your friend Beth.
But don't break! 
Don't fake,
Don't chase that dude with a rake.
Keep your calm,
Muddle on.
And be brave.
And soon enough, they'll turn the corner,
And it all be over.
And when you're old and they've got kids.
You can laugh at those stupid suckers as their little one throws a fit.

[I say this from the most LOVING place possible.]

Thursday, January 29, 2015

Crochet Monster Dating Problems

I'm confused. 
This is Jay.
He's my boyfriend.
Yes! StopitmomhelikesmeandIlikehim!!!!
Well, it's obvious you've thought this through.

Love is like a jelly fish, hard to get a hold of and hard to yank off once it's attached.
Love is like a gooey chocolate chip cookie that makes a huge mess everywhere, but it is just too good to throw away.
Love is like a hot shower with a bad water heater, you never know if it's going to stay hot the whole time you're in there or slowly cool off until you're forced to jump out or freeze.
Love is like a milkshake, the right one will make you happy and keep you coming back for more, the wrong one will give you indigestion or brain freeze.

[I'm sure you can think of some good examples! Post them! I want to see!]

Wednesday, January 28, 2015

Crochet Octopii Moms can be Clingy

Hey mom, I met a guy yesterday.
Hey mom, he's cool, his name is Jay.

He's got purple hair, just like me.
A little different, and that fits to a T. 

I think you'll love him, I sure do.
He loves adventure and everything new. 

Oh mom, please mom, say you'll meet him! 
He'll make you laugh, make you smile, make you grin.

Oh mom, please mom, say you'll meet him today?
Yes dear, lets meet Jay.

[Oh my, did anyone else here the 'voice'? I did and it didn't sound happy.]

Tuesday, January 27, 2015

Three Crochet Pigs and A Plus One

It was then that Hubert started to wonder if something was going on.

Left in the Dark
What'd he say? I don't know.
I wanted to stay, but I had to go.
I was waiting for a bus,
Didn't want to kick up a fuss.
But they were talking without me!
And that didn't make me happy.
I'm good at planning,
There was no reason for disbanding.
I could have helped out,
But I got left out.
And now I'm wondering about.
Hanging low my snout.

But not to worry! 
I called someone who's furry.
He'll turn it around,
He'll play lost and found.
He's good at a huff and a puff,
He'll show them enough is enough.
It's good to be nice,
To people who know wolves who have trice
Knocks a pig's house down. 

Get your own baby pig at Etsy/CrochetByKarin

Monday, January 26, 2015

Monday Morning Confessions A Whale of a Tale

I was a little nervous when we showed up at they were grilling shrimp, but I was like "dude, don't act weird." But if I'm honest, it was weird. I mean, I'm like a fish right? or whatever and it's not really 'cool' to make aquatic food right, 'cause what if I'm offended. They should have made like .... I don't know Krill or something. Anyway, super weird.

Get the free pattern at Ravelry/CrochetByKarin

Sunday, January 25, 2015

Crochet on a Hard Shell

Soooo, I think you said there'd be marshmallows?

One to bring the tents,
One to bring the food,
I'm going to make a fire,
So everyone lighten the mood.

You were supposed to bring music.
And you some hot dogs,
Where's the buns I bought?
Jack! Drag over those logs.

Let's sing some camp songs
And shiver together in the cold
Let eat some s'mores by firelight
They're better at night, or so I'm told.

Friday, January 23, 2015

Crochet Greeting Recap

Your friend seemed nice.
You're being generous.

Ode to Friends
They show up late,
Forget the plan,
They wear the wrong thing,
They bring a friend .. AGAIN!

They make fools of themselves,
And say the wrong thing,
They hit on your friend,
They say things that sting.

They show up when you're sick,
And mess up the house,
They bring junk food,
Which attracts a mouse.

They watch your TV,
And route NOT for your team,
They drive you crazy,
They make you scream.

They remember your birthday,
And show up unannounced,
Especially when you  need them,
To help clean up the house.

They talk to your mom,
When no one else will,
They eat her gross casserole
They eat their fill.

They laugh at your jokes,
When you know they're not funny.
They watch that movie you like,
Even when they know it'll make their nose all runny.

They are annoying and rude 
And embarrassing and crass,
But in the end, 
They'll be one that jumps in to save your rear end.

Thursday, January 22, 2015

Crochet Valley Greetings

Oh hail puppy Dale!
Oh my, Hi! Puppy Guy.
Who's this little miss?
A kitty named Sis! 
Well hello to you little cat.
Meow? is all I'm saying about that.
Well, well, my heart might swell,
I hope my love you will not quell.
Meow to you and meow to him,
I'm glad to meet you, I really am.
But I'm just a cat and not a dog,
Our love wouldn't last one night in the fog.
And to be honest, you're sweet and all,
But my heart lies elsewhere, with someone less tall.
I see, no worries, my heart isn't broken,
I didn't realize that for your heart, someone had already spoken.
Goodbye for now, sweet kitty in black,
I hope to see you soon, for coffee and a snack?

Wednesday, January 21, 2015

Even Crochet Snowballs Can Hurt

Four baby bunnies playing in the snow.
Daddy's got a surprise, but none of them know.
They've been collecting snow in little balls,
But he's not telling them why, not at all.

It's starting to get cold, the sun is going away,
If not now, they'll have to wait 'till tomorrow to play.
Come on Dad! One says,
We're ready to go. What's the game? Confess!

With a smirk and a laugh,
Dad yells "run" and they dash.
Here and there they jump,
But it doesn't help them avoid collision with a cold lump.
Dad's got good aim,
This is one exciting game.
The kids laugh and run,
Until night ruins there fun.
But tomorrow's another day,
And the kids plan on surprising dad with a little play.

Tuesday, January 20, 2015

Monday Morning Confessions Ladybug

Ok so, I was just sitting in the cold and along came this green giant of an alien. I'd never seen one before, but you could just tell, right? I mean, a spaceship lands right next to you and out comes this tall green person, it's not really something you have to contemplate.
Can you imagine if it wasn't?! What if I agreed to go on an adventure with some random person who just HAPPENED to come upon an alien's spaceship?

Wow, you know, I guess I should of thought about that.

Friday, January 16, 2015

Crochet Aliens in a Crochet World

It's been a week. What do you think of our new arrival now?
I'm wondering if it would taste good in soup.

Thursday, January 15, 2015

Sometimes You Have to Go with the Crochet Flow

Some family are cute and sweet
Some ugly and red like a beet.
Some purr when you hug them.
Some smell like wet feet.

Some family make you laugh,
Some you want to lead down the wrong path,
Some are sweet and kind,
Some smell bad and need a bath.

Family isn't for picking,
Family isn't for sticking,
Family is for loving. Even when you don't want too.

Wednesday, January 14, 2015

New Family Members Aren't Always Welcome

You thought I'd like a red bug why?
People on Earth think they are pretty.
I don't
I think it is very nice looking.
You have bad taste.
Come come, you'll love it. Come see it up close.
It's a bug. I'm going to go get the spray.
Oh dear.

Tuesday, January 13, 2015

Coming Home to Crochet Planet

Today is the day
The day we play

The sun will shine brighter,
The wind blow just so,
The earth warm,
And my happiness will grow.

Today is the day
The day we say hurray!

The animals will cheer,
The people will gather near.
The air will crackle,
And the birds will happily kackle.

Today is the day!
The day we say Yeah!

Monday, January 12, 2015

Monday Morning Confessions of a Turtle

Once when I was little...
Ok, littler.

Once, when I was littler, 
I went to see a mysterious lady in the woods.
She was a wittler.
And a fortune teller. 

Anyways, she was going to tell me when I'd be big and tall;
And when I'd be smart and strong.
But the path to her place wasn't a ball.
It was all dirt, and windy and long.

So you know, I gave up and went home.
So I guess I'll just have to wait until I'm big
To know when I'll be tall and smart and strong.
But I'm sure it'll be soon.

Friday, January 9, 2015

Crochet Games

It's a Waiting Game
One puppy, one ball
One lonely spouse, bouncing off the wall.
Waiting is a game better left to the young,
The old are wise and don't wait, they're not dumb.
Grab what you need, that's what I say.
Don't wait till tomorrow, when today you can play.
Be gone the waiting, the lines, and the lists,
I'm going first because I'm the oldest, coolest and best.

Thursday, January 8, 2015

Wednesday, January 7, 2015

The Long Crochet Kiss Goodbye

Goodbye my love,
I'll miss you my dove.

I'll see you soon,
When the sun crosses the moon.

But stay for a while,
And then bring back your smile.

I'll be waiting for you,
And puppy too.

Tuesday, January 6, 2015

Crochet Aliens Run Errands Too

I thought I'd run out to Earth to see some friends.
Yeah, you know. Those guys who helped me out when I crash landed last year?
Oh, yeah. Say hi to the turtle for me.
Just the turtle?
Yes. He's the only one I liked.

Friends and Acquaintances.
One will run to your side if you're hurt
The other will tell you it's your fault for not being alert. 

Monday, January 5, 2015

Monday Morning Confessions

If I'm going to be honest. I knew that mouse was just a bunny in a costume. But it was New Years night and the ball had just dropped. It's not like mouse monsters are a common occurrence.

Happy 2015
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