Wednesday, April 30, 2014

Crochet Under the Leaves

Crochet Under the Leaves

Don't look now.
Don't look!
Seriously....doooon't look.

Just now! There!
Right there!
By the flowers.
Under the bush.

He might see us.
Don't want to scare him.
Sneak up quietly.

Oh no! I think he hears us!
Run! Run!

Oh good, he's still there.

[Hide and seek, crochet style]

Tuesday, April 29, 2014

Did You Really Need That Amigurumi?

Did You Really Need That Amigurumi?

You've got no arms.
I haven't that limb.

You're missing your hands.
I don't even have fins.

You can't grasp your breakfast.
Or my dinner or my lunch.

How can you eat?
I nibble and I crunch.

You can't hug me or throw the ball for me to catch.
I can read to you and tuck you in at night.

I love you, but you look different now.
I'm still dad. Trust me kiddo, it'll all be alright.

[I admit it. I went sentimental. But hugs are hugs and love is love. No limbs necessary.]

Monday, April 28, 2014

Crochet Bee Strategy

Crochet Bee Strategy

I'm hungry!
Me too!
Don't worry friends, stick with me and there'll be food for me and you.

I'm tired!
I can't go on!
Don't worry friends, this food will nourish you and and make you strong.

Ok I'm ready.
Just lead the way.
Now there's my team, follow me and we'll save the day!

Is that the prize?
It looks too far.
Don't back out now, we'll be there soon and you'll be a star.

Let's just go.
Before we change our mind.
I guess that's good enough, come on guys, let's go dine!

Friday, April 25, 2014

Hide and Go Crochet

Hide and Go Crochet

Hey Gerry, have seen that brown puppy that's always hanging around?
No, not lately. Is he in trouble?

No, I just wanted to say hi, but I think he's hiding from me.
You should look behind you, I find the strangest people standing right behind me.

Good idea, I'll head back to mom's house and check there. Thanks Gerry!
No problem. Say hi for me too! I seem to always miss him when he's nearby.

Thursday, April 24, 2014

Crochet Bees On Parade

Crochet Bees On Parade

Hey guys! Where are you going?
We're headed to the pool, they're handing out ice cream.

Oh cool. Can I come with?

Great, do I need to get in line?
Oh, no sorry. When Paul called he said we needed to make a bee line over to the pool. But I'm sure you're fine if you just want to walk beside us.

Cool. Thanks!

Wednesday, April 23, 2014

Crochet Giraffe Perseverance

Crochet Giraffe Perseverance

Almost....just a bit further.
Come on.....You can do this, just a bit farther.

That's it. You've got it.
You can do this Gerry, just stretch a little bit.

I should have brought my stool. Mike!? Mike? Come here so I can stand on you.

Mike: No!

Come on Mike! I'm starving over here!
Mike: You ate all the other flowers yesterday, you're not starving.

I guess that explains why I feel so bloated. Good call Mike. Tomorrow?
Mike: No!

Tuesday, April 22, 2014

Crochet Kitty Up In A Tree

Crochet Kitty Up In A Tree

Crochet Kitty up in a tree.
Woe is me.

I climbed up here for the view.
But now I wish I'd thought of something new.

Something involving hiding in the grass.
Or chasing bugs that happen to slither past. 

Mitch is nice to try to lend a hand.
But he's not strong enough to catch me when I land.

I need a fireman! A strong wonderful fireman.
With yellow jacket and black boots on every woman and man.

A firearm with a ladder could save me from here.
And give me hugs and take away my fear.

But there's no fireman in site.
Just mosquitoes fighting to take a bite.

And this prickly bush has long lost it's glamour
I wish I could run down from here with a clamor.

Maybe if I yow-ell and cry,
Someone will happen by.
And lift from this tower of terror, 
Save me from this thorn bearer.

Oh! What's this?! A red truck in the drive.
Yes yes, it's the firemen coming to see if I'm alive.

They'll save me at last,
I can put this ordeal in the past.

Thank you firemen for being so brave!
With women and men so honorable, you're my fave!

A nice lady name Sandy plucked me from the bushes' clutches.
She hugged me and kissed me and gave me under chin scrutches.

Now I'm home at last with my mommy and friends.
Never again will I climb a bush whose branches are prickly and bends.

I'll stay on the ground or on the house or on the fence.
I'll stay away from trees and save everyone the suspense. 

And when I see a fireman, I'll say THANKYOU!
And rub at their legs. So they won't forget that I like them and everything they do.

Monday, April 21, 2014

Crochet Dragon Logic

Crochet Dragon Logic

Son, Mother's day  is coming up in a few weeks. Have you thought about what you'll get your mother?
I was going to pick her some flowers.

What about chocolate?
She doesn't really like chocolate. Do you think she'd like some chocolate ice cream?

If she doesn't like chocolate, I doubt she'll want chocolate ice cream.
Oh well, I'll get that for me then. What are you getting mom?

Dad's don't get moms anything, we just make sure our kids don't skimp. Buy her some flowers and a pie and put both our names on the card.

Friday, April 18, 2014

A Crochet Bunny Has Two Ears

A Crochet Bunny Has Two Ears

She has two curly ears on top of her head.
She has a cute nose that's small and red.
She brings candy to many and veggies to some.
She's the Easter Bunny and she's ready for fun.

So brush your teeth and get some sleep.
Tonight the bunny comes to hide eggs at your feet.
When you wake up you'll find gifts and treats.
To reward you for your good deeds and brave feats.

"Be brave!" she says. "Be kind to each other."
"And I'll bring you candies and fun to have with your sister and brother."

Thursday, April 17, 2014

Crochet Hot Lava

Crochet Hot Lava

Ok everyone, you know the deal. the ground is hot lava. I repeat, the ground is made of lava! So don't touch it, don't go near it, don't even think about it.

Paul! Paul, stop poking the lava man. Seriously, you do this every time.

So the name of the game is team work. We need to make it to the other side without losing anyone to the lava. Mike's team did this last week in 5 minutes, I say we go for four. Yes, Jane? No, you don't have to go near Paul.

Now then, I'll go first and will establish the chain, then Penn is going to climb over me to make the next step in the chain and so on and so forth. If you think you're going to fall, call out and one of us will help you. And what every you do, don't touch the lava.

Wednesday, April 16, 2014

Can't Catch This Crochet Spy

Can't Catch This Crochet Spy

I'm up in the trees,
Surrounded by leaves.

I'm hiding from the cops,
They're pulling out all the stops.

It was just some seed!
A little bit of feed!

I was only taking notes,
Of the next shipment of oats.

It's hard to be me,
Living free.

Tuesday, April 15, 2014

Crochet Calamity

Crochet Calamity

I distinctly remember asking you to bring the cake.
No you didn't.

I even emailed you yesterday to remind you.
I have email?

And then I had mom tell you this morning when you got up to make sure to got to the store for the cake.
I'm not awake until after breakfast, you know that.

I also left a post it in your car reminding you to bring home a cake.
Oh, sorry. Thought that said bring home coke.
Did you bring home coke?
No, couldn't find it.

And finally, I called you while you were at the store and asked you to buy a cake, you even confirmed that you had put one in the cart.
Oh, that cake was for Jenny. She's sick and I thought it'd be a nice gesture. Not sure why I thought of it, but she was really surprised and happy.

Why are you getting all angry man? It's not like I ruined the party. Mom just ran out and got a cake.

Argg! It's her birthday dingbat!
Oh see, so now she'll get the flavor she wanted. Calamity resolved.


Monday, April 14, 2014

When Life Gives Crochet Animals Weeds

When Life Gives Crochet Animals Weeds

Erm. Erm. Yerm.
What? Oh, yeah, I know they're weeds. But have you tried them? I could eat a truckload of this stuff. I know I shouldn't know..., the're weeds. But once you get a taste for it, it's pretty good. Plus, what else am I going to eat right?

Sure, some nice four leaf clover would be nice, a little kale and cabbage. But you can't be picky! I've even grape fruit and lemons! And those are terrible. Actually, the grape fruit wasn't bad; the lemons were ghastly. More terrible than anything I've ever eaten before. I actually almost stopped eating .... but it's still better than peas.

Friday, April 11, 2014

Sleepy Crochet Owl Quartet

Sleepy Crochet Owl Quartet

Bum bum bum bum bum

Mister Bunny,
Give me some eggs,
Filled with chocolate and those kinds of things.

Make them colorful
and oh so wonderful.
Mr Bunny, give me sweet things.

Blue and purple,
Green and orange in April
Sometime I wish the eggs were always available (like peeps).

Mister Bunny
Give me some eggs,
Filled with jelly beans, chocolate bunnies and those gummy things

Make them fruity,
And root n' tooty
Mr. Bunny, give me sweet things.

Thursday, April 10, 2014

Bring Home the Crochet Chicks

Bring Home the Crochet Chicks

When the rain has stopped and the wind dies down,
A certain group of people will be coming back to town.
They won't march in line and the crowds won't cheer,
They'll come on their own with baskets of candy and they'll sneak about when you're near.

They are the Crochet Chicks, the bringers of candy and fun,
They sneak around at night hiding eggs until they're done.
You'll have to wait till morning and then there's a trick,
You have to find the treats yourself, hidden in trees and bushes and under rocks and maybe a brick.

So bring on the fun of Easter,
and hunt down an  egg for me.
It's time to have a little fun
While the snow isn't up to our knees.

[I know, I know. I'm a week early. We're doing our Easter egg hunt this weekend at a community center, which I'm sure a lot of you are you see, this is actually very fitting :)]

Wednesday, April 9, 2014

Crochet Elephant

What I always say is - SMILE. It instantly makes you happy. I know I don't look like I'm smiling because crochet elephants have pretty much one look, but I am smiling. Look:

not smiling


See! So now you know how to tell when I'm smiling.

Smiling brings the sun out when it's a gray cloudy day. It's true! Every gray day that I've gone out in, I've smiled up at the sky and by dinner time the sky has cleared at least once to let the sun in.

Now you might say, Earl (my name is Earl). Earl, I don't know how to smile.
Well it's pretty easy. You know what you do when you're angry or sad? Just reverse it! I know - so easy!
And for you guys that are never sad or mad either, to smile, lift up the sides of your mouth and maybe show a little teeth.

Just practice, it takes a few tries before you really get it right. 

Tuesday, April 8, 2014

Crochet Basketball

Crochet Basketball

Oh man, did you see the game last night?
Yeah, UConn rocked it.

Aren't you a Dayton fan?
Yeah and they did really really great. So I can be happy for both teams.

That's very level headed of you.
Don't get used to it. It's all the candy I've been eating to prep for Easter, it makes me more cheerful.

Huh, I guess I know what to serve on May 8.
I would recommend it.

[PSST! Non-sports viewers, May 8 2014 is when the NFL (football) will host the draft. This is where they select new players from a group of eligible players who are coming out of high school (rare) and college teams. 
Also, candy = happiness, sheesh]

Monday, April 7, 2014

Countdown to Crochet Candy

Countdown to Crochet Candy

When are you going?
This weekend. There's a special. Three kids and I get a free lunch.

I don't get it.
If at least three kids picks you up to see if you're a real egg you get free lunch at the Bunny's bar and grill.

Is that worth it. Those kids really try to pry you open to see if there's candy.
It's worth it.

Friday, April 4, 2014

It's Crochet Friday

It's Crochet Friday

Hey Bob....
My tentacles are more curly than yours.

Thursday, April 3, 2014

Amigurumi Dragon Poem

Amigurumi Dragon Poem

I'm up in a tree and my mom's gone off with out me
I'd climb down but then what?
It's not like I can have a picnic. I have no apples or blueberries or even a strawberry.

So here I am waiting on mom.
I'm thinking of all the things,
That I'll remind her of - that she always does wrong.

I'm also going to get a bit dirty and mess up my scales.
I don't want to make it easy on her.
Since I asked nicely and she still wouldn't leave me cocktails.

Remember this next time you agree to 'tag-a-long.'
I've learned this time for sure,
That's not always so much fun.

Wednesday, April 2, 2014

Crochet Kitty Attack

Crochet Kitty Attack

In the jungle there are the haves and the takes......

Kitty is a taker.

Kitty creeps slowly through the brush, checking on each step the earth and debris below his feet. A formidable foe is sitting quietly in the clearing. Unaware that kitty is slowly making his way through the underbrush.

The bee - the scariest of all small insects a kitty may encounter in the brush. The bee measures 2 inches long and has a razor sharp butt, perfect for stinging any potential attacker. Kitty must creep quickly and quickly to reach and overtake the bee as the bee does not sit for long.

The time has come. Kitty has reached the clearing and in a few short seconds, will be spotted by the resting bee.

He pounces.

And is successful!!!! The kitty licks his prize before releasing him into the wild.

The bee: No fare Henry! I was in time out!
Kitty: There's no time out in the game of life.
The bee: That's it! I'm not playing any more. MOM!!

Tuesday, April 1, 2014

May is Coming for a Crochet Party

May is Coming for a Crochet Party

I know everyone is trying to trick me.

It's April Fools Day, so of course they're going to tell me the sky is falling, pink is blue, orange juice isn't good on cereal and dogs don't like chocolate. (Everyone likes chocolate!)  But then they go and act all serious about it like you're unearthing the worlds biggest secret. I mean, do I look like I don't know stuff??

Just the other day I discovered - All On My Own! - that mom keeps the chocolate chips on the top shelf of the pantry. I totally saw mom use them when I was randomly peeking under the tablecloth in the other room on a chair under the table so no one would see me. So...I learn stuff every day.

Anyways, everyone is trying to convince me that the pool isn't open yet and I wouldn't want to go anyway because I don't mix well with water. Well I know it's bunk because mom and I went last year when it was warm and it's been a year and it's finally warm so I know it'll be open. And old Gus here is going to take me. Aren't you Gus? Yes, good boy.

So you see, don't let people trick you.

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