Friday, February 28, 2014

Amigurumi Owls Stick Together

Amigurumi Owls Stick Together

It may seem hard to believe, but all of these lovely owlets are mine! 

Raising nine babies is hard work, let me tell you. Not a one of them can fly yet, but I don't mind. I just nudge them along with my beak and there they go, shuffling off. This one here is Kai, he's my artist. He loves loves loves to paint with spaghetti and owl pellets. Totally weird, I know, but his pictures are quite beautiful. 

Let's see... oh, this is Mai, she's my do-it-yourselfer. I find her allover the nest trying to redesign - it's really the cuttest thing. You just wait, in another ten years she'll be designing storm proof nests and baby buffers to keep the owlets from falling out of the nest. 

I'm just so proud of all my babies. Chai, Fai, Rai, DoDai, LaiLai, BaFai, and Cam. 

From all of us to all of you wonderful people out there, HeyHey! 

[Word of the day: Owlet = baby owl. What!?? And guess what you call a group of owls......A Parliament! I know, you can't make this stuff up. Sometimes I wish a group of owls made all the rules, but then it'd be all about protecting our natural resources and creating more national parks. Remember the spotted owl, such a trouble maker. (I kid, I kid). Happy Friday everyone!]

Thursday, February 27, 2014

Crochet Flight

Crochet Flight

She's ethereal! What is she wearing? How can we get her hair? I hear she's dating someone super famous. Those shoes! 

Mark, this is a stunning example of fame today. Fresh, original, flawless, May is the ideal new 'it'girl.
Don't I know it and sweet too!! I hear she gives money to her friends, just for being there for her. 
Wow, Mark, she's the whole package. Do you think she'd date me?
Well, rumor is that she's dating this super famous celebrity, but can't tell anyone!
That's crazy! She should tell everyone. Those things can't be kept secret.
Is she working on any projects right now?
She is working on a short piece about vanity entitled "I think I can fly." She wrote, directed and is acting in it.
If it's a May original, than I'm sure it'll be entertaining, if not great. 
I'm sure she'll look beautiful. 
Do you think she'll let her friends participate in the film?
Oh, I'm sure we'll get bit parts as commentators and such.
You're probably right.

CUT! You guys are going off script! I don't allow that in my movies!. Help me down!

[The Oscars are on Sunday, have you got your drinks, food, and gown ready??]

Wednesday, February 26, 2014

Crochet Comedians

Crochet Comedians

It became obvious in the beginning few minutes that Phil's career as a comedian was going to be short lived...

Hey Earl, what happens when you mix oil and water?
What's that?
My favorite drink! 

Hey Earl, what do you do when you've left the potato salad out all day and it smells?
huh, I don't know. What do you do Phil?
Grab a plate! Ha!


Tuesday, February 25, 2014

Amigurumi Flight

Amigurumi Flight

Two little birds,
Sitting in the woods.
They were wondering about flight,
Wondering if they could.

Their mom had flown away,
To get food she'd say.
Now they wanted to give it a try,
They'd been trying every day.

The little purple one had almost done it,
But then fell and got hit.
The brown one made a good attempt,
But is now resigned to sit.

Soon there mom will bring food,
And hopefully lift their mood.
Because they are sad they can't fly,
And they really wish they could.

Monday, February 24, 2014

Amigurumi Down Hill Obstacle Course

Amigurumi Down Hill Obstacle Course

Henry's getting a good start this morning. He's been practicing for weeks and its certainly showing. Notice the splayed legs, straight back and concentrated look. He's ready for any obstacle.

It's a great day in sports today I tell ya. Henry's really pushing himself and it's paying off. We might see a medal return to the crochet town this evening and I'm sure the celebration will be fantastic.

For our viewers at home, Henry needs to avoid all obstacles, even those thrown from the sides, and make it down the hill safely and faster than all the other amigurumi kitties competing today. Earlier with saw Jessica wipe out from a snowball to the face. A well aimed shot from the knitters. Michaela completed a clean run, but a full 5 seconds slower than expected.

This is Henry's second run and he just needs to hang on to cinch the title of fastest most agile kitty.

He's won it!!

All those weeks of practicing have paid off. It's a glorious day in crochet town today as Henry the Cat takes first place in the Amigurumi Down Hill obstacle course.

Friday, February 21, 2014

Crochet Acrobats

Crochet Acrobats

Penelope: Hold it.....hold it.......
Rose: I've been holding it! What's taking so long? You're crushing my brain.

Penelope: Those Olymipic athletes practice 8 hours a day, I think you can hold for at least 10 minutes don't you?
Rose: It's been almost an hour Penelope.

---a few minutes later--- 

Penelope: Hold it.....hold it.......
Rose: I'm going to lose it. Seriously, I'm going to topple you to the ground and sit on you. Balancing isn't even an Olympic sport!

Penelope: Well of course it isn't. 

---awkward silence---

Rose: Penelope, what are we doing this for?
Penelope: Guiness Book of World Records!

Rose: Right. I'm out. Good luck with that.

---storms off---

Penelope: Sheesh. She obviously wasn't Olympic.......the octopii will help me. They have better balance anyways.

Thursday, February 20, 2014

Crochet Confusion

Crochet Confusion

Gil: Hey there little lady. That's a fine looking son you have. Very polite. You must be one great mom. My name is Gil, I'm a companion and decorative conversation starter for a nice old lady down the street. You may have heard of her, Mrs. Kay? No? Well, she's very nice, I think you'd like her. 

Gil: Say, did I see you down at Biggy's house last week? He was having a party to celebrate his birthday and I swear I saw you there.  Biggy needed a lot of help handing out snacks and such and  I didn't get a chance to say hello so I'm very happy that now I have the chance.....well hello.

Gil: Have you ever been to Spencer's Cafe? It's a few block away, it's run by a friend of mine. They have the tables in the back with comfy swivel chairs. I think your little one would like it and we could get to know each other, what do you say?

Gil: Playing a little hard to get eh? That's fine, I wouldn't want to rush you. How about I come by tomorrow and we can talk again?

Gil: ooh, I think I saw the beginnings of a smile there! I'll take that as a yes.....see you tomorrow Ms. Wonderful.

Wednesday, February 19, 2014

Amigurumi Hibernating til Summer

Amigurumi Hibernating til Summer

Kay: Don't move a muscle. Don't twitch. Cici! stop wiggling, we're all going to fall. Bean, where's that cover you promised us? We're out in the open here, they'll see us!

Bean: We're fine. They never look up here. 
Cici: Are you sure? That lady has walked in here a couple times and I swear she looked up here.

Bean: Have you looked in these baskets? This one has baking supplies. The sugar is so old it's brick-like. Trust me, no one is looking up here. 

Kay: Everyone stop wiggling! We're going to fall and then they'll see us for sure. This is ridiculous, we can't stay like this for another month!! And there's no flowers in here, no beehive, no nectar! We'll starve.

Bean: You're freaking out Kay. We're amigurumi remember? We don't eat. We don't sleep. 
Cici: Can you guys get off me yet? My brain has a dent in it.

Kay,Cici: Why are we up here!!!

Bean: Honestly? I just wanted a better view. 


Tuesday, February 18, 2014

Crochet Election Campaigns are a Spectator Sport

Crochet Election Campaigns are a Spectator Sport

Yesterday, Philameena was elected as President of the United Federation of Crochet Animals. The election campaign had run only for a single day, which resulted in very low campaign financing, but it had been enough to cover the cost of the stage, podium and cookies and punch. 

The other candidate for President, Phil, had meant to provide pie, but his fundraising had hit a snag when he discovered he couldn't ask his mom and dad for money. 

Bud and Samuel, the purple and red ponies, watched the speeches from the stands- needing to listen over the constant chattering of the pink puffs - and have provided their summaries below:

Samuel: I thought both Phil and Philameena covered the topics that everyone cared about - the need for affordable fluff, cleaning services, and repairs. Phil said he thought we should all work harder to pay for the fluff and cleaning services we needed. I already work all day for a little girl and really can't afford to work any more than I do. Philameena thought those that have it easy - the ones that sit around all day on display or are allowed to roam free, should help the others out. 

Bud: Yeah, that idea totally stunk for me. I worked hard to get the cushy job I have and I don't think I should be asked to spend my well earned free time helping stinky here get a bath. So his boss has sticky fingers, try looking pretty on a shelf all day. 

Samuel: I'm glad you said that Bud, because you've been invited over for a play date. 

Bud: That's taxation!! I wont' have it. I donated to the campaign,I deserve protection from play dates.

There you have it folks. No one likes sticky fingers so please, wash your hands.

Monday, February 17, 2014

Amigurumi President's Day

President's Day - A Crochet Day in History

On a bright sunny day in the coldest month of the year two owls joined together to speak to the people. No cared that one was purple and the other a slightly lighter color of purple. no cared that each's ears were a bit pointy or their eyes too big. No one cared that not a single other purple owl showed up that day to see them speak (al beit several brown owls were in attendance).

Today was a day in history for all crochet kind. Today they were choosing their President of the United Federation of Crochet Animals - known and imagined. 

While the bunnies had campaigned strongly for the Easter bunny, he declined to accept their nomination due to time constraints. The ponies had asked the Atlantic Land-Octopus to take part, but he did not really care about politics nor the heavy travel required. In fact, not many were interested in becoming president or even cared about who would be in charge. A start contrast to the very heated and almost violent elections held by the ant tribe and amigurumitetoony town. 

As it was, only Phil and Philameena were willing to run and they stood on a platform of cardboard and good intentions. Both of which was well received by the pink puffs and bees. The baby chicks were indifferent and only showed up to watch them speak because there would be punch and cookies following. 

Phil and Philameena spoke about equal access to fluff for those in need, hugs for those left out to for display and rarely played with, and cleaning services for the many who were subject to frequent handling by little children. 

All the amigurumi crochet animals listened and considered and at the end of the speeches presented Phil and Philameena with the ceremonial straws for selection of their next President. Philameena pulled the short straw and then began the Presidency of the first female purple amigurumi crochet owl. 

The election ended with bookies and punch and the baby chicks celebrated into the late hours of the night. 

[Happy President's Day!!]

Friday, February 14, 2014

Happy Crochet Valentine's Day!!

Happy Crochet Valentine's Day!!

Francine, I know we live in two different worlds.
You eat the tops off of the flowers, I hide behind them.
You sit in the back on the movie theater, I sit in the front.
You could step on me, I could accidentally trip you.
You stand strong in the face of danger, I hide in my shell and quiver in terror.
But my love for you is greater than all our differences.
Francine.....Happy Valentine's Day.

[Amigurumi crochet love, a special kind of affection.]

Thursday, February 13, 2014

Crochet Snowpocalypse

Crochet Snowpocalypse

Hey Tom, what do you get when you mix southern hospitality with a polar vortex?

A snowstorm that grows bigger everyday and stays for weeks longer than expected!

[Please note, I realize that I am not all that funny. Stay warm in the snow today!]

Wednesday, February 12, 2014

Crochet Spring is NEVER Coming

Crochet Spring is NEVER Coming

Head Chick: You promised us good weather! If this keeps up it'll be snowing in April and no one will want cute little chicks. We want to talk to the Boss, this is unacceptable!

Head Bunny: Now, now, you know the Boss is busy decorating eggs and chocolates.

Head Chick: You listen to me green, you either bring Spring or we stop making eggs. Got me?

Head Bunny: Don't fly off the handle! We need those eggs. Boss won't finish on time without them.

Head Chick: Well, then I guess you have some work to do. Come on chicks, we're officially on STRIKE.

[Stay warm out there everybody!!]

Tuesday, February 11, 2014

To The Crochet Pigs Go the Spoils

To The Crochet Pigs Go the Spoils

Can you believe they left all this behind?
Yeah right? Totally, yum. There's still seeds in here.


Monday, February 10, 2014

Amigurumi Stuck in the Middle

Amigurumi Stuck in the Middle

Simon had been there for what seemed like hours. The fight had been fought and while his comrades celebrated the win, he remained stuck and abandoned.

Many thoughts crossed his mind during this time, thoughts of revenge, sadness and doubt, but none other was as strong as his overwhelming desire for pancakes. It was almost unbearable. The warm fluffy pancakes, drenched in sweet sugary syrup. He imagined himself at the breakfast diner, at his favorite table, with his best mate eating pancakes, drinking coffee.

In his more fanciful moments he imagined the pancakes came with a bowl of berries and whipped cream. Sweet strawberries and blueberries. And perhaps a raspberry.

When Simon awoke in the morning, he was very saddened to find himself in the same position, stuck in the middle, but very much like a pad a butter on a pancake, he seemed to be slowly melting! With a great deal of joy Simon realized that in a few moments he would slip through the bottom of this hole and no matter the bumps and bruises, he would be free!

A few moments later, Simon did infarct fall and it was the best feeling int he world, until of course he hit the bottom, but even that sharp slap to the back of the head could dampen his excitement. He ran right out and to his favorite restaurant, was seated at his favorite table and when the waitstaff arrived at his table he know just what he wanted.


Friday, February 7, 2014

A Crochet Sing-A-Long

A Crochet Sing-A-Long

Dan was sitting in a pub one night and it occurred to him that there was a microphone on the small stage next to him and for some explainable reason, it was turned on. Not one to turn up an opportunity, Dan slowly stood up and climbed the stage and before anyone could stop him a song bubbled up from the deepest recessing of his mind.

Living life almost extinct.
Scientists thought that we had drifted away.
But the meteor had just made us shrink.

Dinosaurs deserve to be feared!
But now we're small and weird.

Can't someone cower before me.
Please? I'd beg but I don't have knees.

Thursday, February 6, 2014

Crochet Pony Meets His Match

Crochet Pony Meets His Match

Run faster Bud, we need to get to the store by midnight.
Stop poking me with your tentacles! I will run as fast as I run and if we get there too late, you can make your girlfriend a card by hand.

You've been really testy since you escaped the pricklies. What gives?
Nothin' just stop poking me.

I know I've got a girlfriend and shorty turtle finally convinced Linda to date him and now Samuel has found someone, but it's no reason to be all cranky.
Ron, you are pulling my hair, poking me in the armpit, and you woke me up at 4am in the morning to give you a ride to a store 2 states away just to buy a gift for someone you just met. Does she call you her boyfriend? I doubt it.

Like I said, prickly.
Just 'cause you keep saying' it doesn't make it so. Just cause you keep calling her your girlfriend doesn't mean she is your girlfriend.

We've been on like 3 dates! She's my girlfriend.
You ran into her 3 times at Starbucks and she let you sit at the table she'd already set her laptop at. It's not a shining example of coupledom.

Is this because I didn't bring you a coffee this morning when I woke you up.
Yes. And I expect a gift on Valentine's day.

[Remember when hanging out with your significant other next week, not to neglect your besties, they love you too. And are usually the ones willing to bring you to bizarre places at weird hours just because you asked. <3]

Wednesday, February 5, 2014

Crochet Rescue

Crochet Rescue

Hey Bud, Bud! They've come to rescue us.
Finally, crochet amigurumi pink puffs willing to stick up for the little guy. Those guys are awesome.

There are a lot of those thorny things, I hope they don't get hurt.
Oh no, I'm sure they'll be fine.

Do you think we'll get out of here by Valentine's Day? I was going to buy Iona a chocolate frog.
Oooooh, why don't you ever buy me a chocolate frog?

Chocolate isn't good for horses.

Tuesday, February 4, 2014

Amigurumi Love Song

The big day was fast approaching and Ron, the crochet octopus, was beginning to feel the pressure. His little tentacles ached, his back ached, his head ached, even his little plastic safety eyes ached.

Ron: Valentine's day is only 10 days away! I need to learn this song faster Penelope.
Penelope: She's going to like it no matter what, don't worry so much.

Ron: She needs to more than like it, she needs to LOVE it. And then love me.
Penelope: I really don't think a song is going to magically make her fall in love with you. But, seeing as she doesn't run away screaming when she's with you, she might already love you.

Ron: Maybe I should have asked her if she loved me; it would have saved me a lot of time practicing (rubbing his chin thoughtfully).
Penelope: (rolls eyes) Just take it from the top so I can go to lunch.

"Twinkle, twinkle...."

Penelope: Lovely, time for leftovers from eat it again cafe. Just keep practicing. You always forget the last line.
Ron: It's 'like a what?'.....Ruby? she's red like a ruby and her eyes are black like the sky at night and her arms are soft (other than the suckers). And...
Penelope: Please stop. It's 'like a diamond.' I'm going before you attempt poetry and ruin my lunch.

[Little known fact, Amigurumi Octopii are not very good at playing piano. I know, I know - it sounds like I'm making this up. But ask yourself this: when was the last time you saw an amigurumi octopus PLAY a piano?]

Monday, February 3, 2014

Crochet Football Sadness

It was 17 weeks of non-stop Thursday night, Sunday night and Monday night football with friends and lots of junk food and all I got was this helmet. I mean, the games were great too, but I couldn't win one fantasy league? One playoff challenge? I was in 4 leagues, I watched post game wrap up, I checked the waiver wires. This should have been my year.

I crocheted this completely awesome, good luck helmet, made sure to jump around in a circle every night in my pajamas, and wore my jersey on game day every weekend.

Next year I'm going back to the old way: Picking by age, fantasy points and top number of results in a Google query.

Only three months till the draft, I should probably crochet some  helmets for the rest of the guys.

Sunday, February 2, 2014

Crochet Superbowl 2014

Guffry the Turkey in his Football helmet.

On this fine day two teams will line up to challenge each other for the ultimate price, football history.

And while my team (cry!) did not make it to the Superbowl I can still be happy for those teams that did.

So here's to you, Broncos and Seahawks, have a great game, don't get injured and have fun.

For all those other fans who's teams also did not make it to the Superbowl, we'll get 'em next year, enjoy the game :)

(PS. Peyton, you're on my NFL playoff challenge team, so if you could score big, that would be great.)

(PPS: You too, Wes Welker! (who used to play for MY team, but was sadly traded away. You'll always be a Patriot to me!!!!!))

[Guffry (the amigurumi crochet turkey) made an appearance in my Thanksgiving postings and was saved by my husband who thought he was hilarious. Since then, my husband has asked me to crochet several hats for Guffry including the lovely Football helmet pictured above.]

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