Friday, January 31, 2014

Amirugumi Owl Family Fun

On a cold winter's day, four owls set out to play,
but mom has other plans, filled with homework and sorting cans.

Mom, oh mom, please let us play,
We can sort cans another day.
We want to run, we want to jump, we want to lay watching TV like a lump.

Homework is boring, tedious and lame;
Can't we just play a board game?
How about Hop Hop, or Skinny Tree or Shoots? How about Kammee or Choochoo or Beeboots?

Stuck in the house with homework to do,
Mom won't let us play until we write in our books that "A Cow Goes Moo!"
It's sad to say,  but I hope tomorrow isn't a snow day.

Thursday, January 30, 2014

Puppy vs Turtle A Story of Amigurumi Rivalry

When a crochet puppy and amigurumi turtle find themselves at a crossroads...

Mike: I can hide inside my shell.
Sir Reginald: You're cold blooded, you are always cold.

Sir Reginald: I am cuddly.
Mike: I can cuddle. I choose note to. You can't help yourself.

Mike: I have a pretty very pretty singing voice.
Sir Reginald: Let's be real here. We both sound like groaning sea lions when we sing.

Sir Reginald: I can play fetch.
Mike: I fetch! It just takes me a really really long time.

Sir Reginald: Listen! I'm sure you have very nice characteristics and that is why mom likes you. But the fact remains, I get to sleep on the bed because I'm soft and cuddly, can climb on and off by myself and and don't mistake the green sheets for lettuce and try to eat them.

Mike [shaking head]: You eat one set of sheets and you're banned for life.

[My amigurumi crochet turtle pattern will soon be posted on my Etsy store, check back soon...]

Wednesday, January 29, 2014

One Crochet Amigurumi Chick

Stuck in a tree, sad is me.
Been here for days, nothing to see.
I told a passerby I was stuck, he said I was out of luck.

Stuck in a tree, bored is me.
I counted the ants, they climbed over me.
I stared at the clouds, I yelled super loud.

Why oh why didn't I climb down yesterday, I saw some kids and really wanted to play.
It's just too bad I'm afraid of heights, or I would have climbed down to play kites.

I'm sure someone will realize in a day or two, that my being stuck up here is nothing new;
Then they'll come get me and all will be right, until I climb back up the next night. 

Tuesday, January 28, 2014

Even Crochet Bears Get Cabin Fever

May: Don't do it Mick. So we ran out of Ice Cream, Popsicles and Chocolate Bars. I'm sure it'll only be cold for another month or so.
Mick: Ahhh! A month!!? That's too long May, I won't make it. I need snacks! I need candy! Why oh why won't mom go to the store.

May: Oh, she went yesterday, but I told her you were on a post New Year's diet.

[Mick's eyes begin to blink rapidly and his hands twitch and then his whole body goes eerily still....]

Monday, January 27, 2014

Attacking the Crochet Amigurumi

Bud: This is it Sam. They've found us.
Sam: Maybe they won't be able to climb the wall.

Bud: They're climbing on top of each other. This really is it. I wish we could get the lid shut, but our heads are so enormously large!
Sam: If this is going to be it I need to tell you something. Last week when mom found fluff in the kitchen and everyone thought it was you....well, it was me. I was trying to grab by tail and pulled fluff instead.

Bud: If we get out of this you are telling mom! She still won't let me back in the kitchen!
Sam: To be fair, you always make a big mess.

Bud: I only spilled the milk once, it hardly makes me messy. You on the other hand are constantly leaving food sitting around, leaving your bed a mess, knocking over stuff. I should have KNOWN the fluff was from you. It's just soo....YOU!

Sam: I'm still glad I told you.

Friday, January 24, 2014

Crochet Chorus of Pigs

Here come the pigs,
All dressed in wigs!

Wearing their tights,
Getting in fights!

Lala lalala lala lalala lala lalala lala

Here come those silly pigs, wearing those silly wigs.

Will you go to see them sing?
Will you go to see them dan-cing?

Don't forget your camera!
Don't forget your cheer!
Bring lots of laughs and maybe some rootbeer.

Go see the pigs, go see the pigs, go see the pigs, go see the pigs ...

Thursday, January 23, 2014

What Do Crochet Turtles Do All Day?

What do I do all day? I eat a lot of lettuce. And watermelon. But sometimes there isn't water melon so I eat an orange or blueberries. I don't really know why there isn't watermelon every day, but I'm sure it because of the rabbits. They like watermelon too.

I also walk around the yard through the grass. The grass feels really nice under my toes and I keep a look out for dangerous animals like bunnies and I go tell dad. I've seen birds hanging around too, but they don't try to eat my lettuce or my watermelon.

The rest of the day I spend up on my rock in the sun. It's very warm and I can keep an eye on my grassy spot and on my food so the rabbits can't sneak up and steal it. I get really warm on the rock, which is really really nice. And then dad comes and gets me.

It's pretty sweet. (other than the rabbits and bunnies).

Wednesday, January 22, 2014

Crochet Octopus Love

I just love you guys.

I love you like chocolate pudding and cake.
I love you like brownies and a chocolate milk river running into a lake.

I love you like fresh fruit with whipped cream.
I love you like cherries and any other fruity thing.

I love you like sunshine and warm summer days.
I love you like fall leaves and the end of day sunny rays.

I love you so much I think I'll burst,
Then I remember if I keep squeezing you'll probably burst first.

I love you guys.

Tuesday, January 21, 2014

Crochet Amigurumi Kitty Ponders

When the sky is blue and the wind blows warm,
Am I allowed to complain that I live on a farm?

When the milk is plentiful and mice are all around,
Am I allowed to cry because my ball can't be found?

When I have a warm bed to sleep in and humans to pet me,
Am I allowed to whine when puppy tries to get me?

I say yes and mom says no.
I cry anyways,
And she says go, go go.

I'm pretty sure I'll continue to complain and cry and whine,
But I remember to cuddle and kiss my mommy from time to time.

Monday, January 20, 2014

Crochet Salute to Martin Luther King Jr Day

Four owls in three colors honoring the day
When a man fought for equality, MLK

I'm pretty proud to think how hard that one man fought
I hope more come along who show the strength and courage that MLK brought

So now on this holiday honoring the man
Please hug your neighbor and do what you can

To make those different from you feel welcome and safe to be who they are
And remember, for some, those hardships are still present and hatred not far.

Happy MLK Day!

Friday, January 17, 2014

Crochet Naming

Hi there! I’m Samuel, what’s your name.
I kind of don’t want to say. It’s kind of embarrassing. See, my previous owner let her baby daughter name it and it’s kind of a silly name.

It can’t be so bad. I’ve heard a lot of crazy names before, Mr McStooge, Shamus Moospaws, Corgi Crazy, Dude Bugle. Yours can’t be that bad can it?
My name is Sir Reginald Mctoodle Fuffins Butt.

Oh. That is pretty bad.

Thursday, January 16, 2014

Amigurumi Crochet Miscommunication

Ken: I did not!
Gerry: Those rocks didn’t fall by themselves. You just walked across, ego, you are at fault.

Ken: I am a slender flower, there is no way those rocks fell because of me.
Gerry: You are not a slender flower, but to be fair, they looked loose so I’m sure anyone walking across would have made them fall.

Ken: I did NOT knock them down. You are trying to fat shame me and I will NOT HAVE IT!
Gerry: To fat shame you, you would need to feel shame and you would need to be fat. Since you are neither, I’m merely pointing out that you walked across the rocks and then they fell.

Ken: Now you think I’m out of touch with reality!? What, you think I’m crazy! You think that I don’t know that I made the rocks fall. Well guess what Mr. “I know everything” I did know and now you’re stuck over there and I don’t have to listen to you anymore.

Gerry: So we both win, how nice.

Wednesday, January 15, 2014

Crochet Turtles seeking Turtles

Just push me up a little higher. Come on! Lift you neck up, I’m nearly there.

I hardly think this is necessary; she’s going to know you’re short, even if you stand on the top of the tree.

It’s only another couple of feet, don’t ruin this for me.

Tuesday, January 14, 2014

Amigurumi Crochet Owls Need to Think Things Through

How long have we been hanging here John?
Too long. How long have we been bothers?
Longer! How long have we been owls?
The longest.
Why are we hanging here John?
You told mom you thought she’d aged well.

Well, anyone can make that mistake. 

Monday, January 13, 2014

Crochet May is a Party Crasher

May: Joe! Help me up.
Joe: Hmm, no, I don’t think so.

May: Joe!! You can’t leave me here, it’s only one more step, just lift me up!
Joe: I’ll let someone at the party know that you’re out here.

May: This is ridiculous, I was just saying how nice it was for you to pick up the gift. I was THANKING you!
Joe: We didn’t get a group gift May. I purchased a gift and you didn’t.

May: We did! I asked you last week what were you getting for the guys and you said a vase and I said that was a great idea.

Joe: it was a great idea and I’m about to go get credit for it. See you in an hour.

May: Joe! You can’t leave me here! …

May: Oh hey Lisa!! How’s it going? Can you help me up? What did you end up getting the guys? That is such a great gift, here I’ll help you drop it off.

Friday, January 10, 2014

Amigurumi Cats and Pecking Order

Henry: Do you think if we jump from here we’ll land on our feet?
George: You try it and tell me how it works out.

Henry: Ha, last time we did that I scrambled myself. You go first.
George: I’m clearly the leader here, we can’t risk my getting here. You go and tell me if it’s safe.

Henry: You always do this to me. We’re a team, which means we co-lead. You are not the leader.
George: We can’t co-lead a team of two people. One of us, me, is the leader and one of us, you, is the henchman.

Henry: Sometimes I really feel like pushing you.

George: But you don’t, which is a clear sign that I am the leader. 

Thursday, January 9, 2014

Crochet Wishes and Amigurumi Dreams

One day when I am old I’m going to look back on these times I spent sitting around getting a sun tan as the best times of my life. I know people always say time with family, friends, vacation … what have you.

But really, I just like sitting here on this bench, with no one else around and getting some sun. And not just any sun, warm rays from a setting sun in the middle of summer. Which sounds weird for an Octopus, but I’m a land octopus which means that I love being dried out and wrinkly and the more tan I get, the more purple my skin is and you know what they say…..purple is beautiful.

So, while you’re all sitting around shivering with your friends and family, remember, summer and solitude are only a few short months away.

Wednesday, January 8, 2014

Another Crochet Winter for Bee and Dragon

Dude, did you see those green bunnies yesterday or was that me having a crazy dream?
I saw them. They weren’t very subtle.

Do you think they’ll get in trouble for knocking over that statue of a lawn gnome?
No, that gnome was wearing football colors and the Easter Bunny is a baseball fan.

Don’t let Santa find out, I heard he once gave a guy coal for trying to jinx all of the AFC-East.

[For those non-football savvy, the AFC (American Football conference) is broken down into four areas, N, S, E, and W. The East includes the Buffalo Bills, Miami Dolphins, New England Patriots, and New York Jets. I won’t say which is Santa’s favorite team, but three of them are located in snowy regions and you know how much Santa loves snow.] 

Tuesday, January 7, 2014

Crochet Bunnies Still Work in the Winter

Hi there! You might be wondering what two ADORABLE bunnies are doing in a bush.

Ed, they might be more curious about two green bunnies, I don’t think that’s a normal color.
Shh! Don’t freak them out!


Anyway, as I was saying, you might be wondering why we’re up here.
Well, you see…each year, a few months before Easter, the Easter Bunny sends out his best bunny assistants to locate and mark all the best spots to hide eggs. So my friend and I are here to do just that.

Strictly speaking, you weren’t supposed to catch us doing this. Would it be possible for you to forget you saw anything?

Good! Great! Only a few months to go, warm wishes on these cold days.

Monday, January 6, 2014

Crochet Amigurumi Turtle Stuck in the Wind

Stuck up high, swinging to and fro,
It seemed like good fun until he was ready to go.

Then he realized he was stuck with no way down,
And he’d have to call for help, he admitted with a frown.

Call he did, both loudly and often,
But no one came and he feared he’d been forgotten.

It was daytime and people were out and about,
No one was expected home for hours and his arms were about to give out.

But then, so very thankfully, Mike’s neighbor happened to walk by,
And noticed poor Mike hanging way up in the sky.

So next time remember before you get stuck,
Make sure you have friends around who can help or hope for good luck.

Sunday, January 5, 2014

Amigurumi Crochet Wine Carrying Tote

Hi crochet friends. I decided that, on occasion, it would be fun to share with you something I've been working on or just finished. (and please feel free to do the same on my facebook page)

So, in the spirit of sharing here is a picture of my amigurumi crochet wine tote. It is double layered at the bottom (just in case you drop it!) which I have found helps prevent sagging. You can tell that the bag is made using the amigurumi technique by the slanted boxes. If I were to slip stitch, ch1 and turn at the end of each row I would get an unsightly seam. By crocheting the bag this way, there is some overlap of the rows when starting a new color, but you'd need to look closely to see it. Also, the slanting boxes (or diamonds) is a dead giveaway. But there is no seam!

I've made a few of these so far (for gifts and such) and am very happy with the final pattern. It holds your standard size wine bottle, but you could get one of the fatter ones in there. You know, when you're headed on one of the extra long picnics.

I have a friend who is using hers to store plastic grocery store bags so this definitely is a multi-tasker and you can personalize it with your own colors and such. I made one with a mountain and cactus on it for my Dad who lives in Arizona.

So what have you guys been working on? I'd love to see your projects!

Friday, January 3, 2014

One Amigurumi Crochet Owl

One baby owl sitting on a chair
So sad to be alone, but no one else is there.

Remember to be nice to your sisters and brother,
or you'll spend the day in time-out being lectured by your mother.

Thursday, January 2, 2014

Amigurumi Love

I'm sorry I didn't get you a Christmas present.
You did, you made me cookies.

Oh, well. I actually made those for myself, but they didn't taste right so I gave them to you. I think I forgot to add the butter.
Huh, tasted alright to me.

Happy 2014 May.
You too Mick.

Wednesday, January 1, 2014

Crochet New Years

Hi Henry, how was your New Years?
It was pretty rough, I woke up laying in a puddle of milk. I think someone spilled it on me and was too tired to clean it up.

Why didn't you just move?
Cats don't do that. 
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