'Twas two nights before Christmas and all through the yard,
Not a snow flake was falling, not even real hard.
The kids were all at daycare and mom at work,
Dad was supposed to buy presents, but instead slept in, jerk.
The presents are all wrapped, the Christmas tree trimmed,
It all looks very pretty at night with the florescent lights dimmed.
In two days time, Santa will come, we hope he brings presents,
Rather than last year, when all we got was a hole in the roof and a hand full of pheasants.
So everyone smile and be nice to each other,
A very MERRY holiday is coming and we're not afraid to call your mother.
[Above references to 'dad' are in no way related to my wonderful husband who went shopping already and was very successful ;P]