Wednesday, December 25, 2013
Tuesday, December 24, 2013
Pinkie: It's Christmas tomorrow! I've got food purchased, chips, dip - yes, I have the presents all taken care of and stacked under the tree. The tree is up, decorated, watered. Everyone arrives tomorrow and then there's lunch/dinner, late night games and laughing. I've set-up blow-up mattresses pretty much everywhere, all are made up with warm sheets and pillows. The bathroom is stalked with towels, extra soap, toothpaste and dental floss. I grabbed a bunch of fun magazines and puzzle books for kids and gown-ups and brought the sledding stuff down from the attic.
Pinkie: It's going to be soooooo wonderful!
Atlantic Land-Octopus: So why are you here?
Pinkie: Claustrophobia <sad face>
Monday, December 23, 2013
'Twas two nights before Christmas and all through the yard,
Not a snow flake was falling, not even real hard.
The kids were all at daycare and mom at work,
Dad was supposed to buy presents, but instead slept in, jerk.
The presents are all wrapped, the Christmas tree trimmed,
It all looks very pretty at night with the florescent lights dimmed.
In two days time, Santa will come, we hope he brings presents,
Rather than last year, when all we got was a hole in the roof and a hand full of pheasants.
So everyone smile and be nice to each other,
A very MERRY holiday is coming and we're not afraid to call your mother.
[Above references to 'dad' are in no way related to my wonderful husband who went shopping already and was very successful ;P]
Friday, December 20, 2013
Yeah, you. Come here.
Listen, there is a secret room in this house.
No! Really. I'm not joking.
I saw mom go in there yesterday and listen....
I think she's got Santa locked up in there.
Yes! I know how crazy it sounds, but she's been going in with snacks like cheese and crackers and and .. cookies! And then she comes out with wrapped gifts and someone's eaten all the food. It's got to be elves or Santa or maybe even Mrs. Clause.
You need to go in there and save Christmas!
And maybe grab me a present
Thursday, December 19, 2013
Oh my gosh, oh my gosh, oh my gosh. Where the heck is the that gift? I know I left it over here somewhere. Henry better not have taken it, that was for mom. I picked it out special. I could have gotten the red one or even the little brown one. It would have been a lot less effort to the get the brown one, but I thought "you know what? Mom deserves a blue one." So I spent all day sitting and waiting and waiting and sitting and crawling and sliding until the exact right moment and then
I grabbed it and it was mine. And seriously!? Where is it? I can't believe I lost it. I just left her for maybe an hour to dry off. I bet Henry found it and now he's going to claim it for himself and give it to mom. That's so wrong! That was totally my gift.
gosh gosh gosh, I just have to find it!
I see it! It's over here by this large rock. But seriously, that's what you got?
Wednesday, December 18, 2013
Tuesday, December 17, 2013
May: Mick! Get up here, we're going to miss the parade.
Mick: We can't see the parade from there. It's all the way in town.
May: I'LL be able to see it if I stand on your shoulders. Come on, grab my hand.
Mick: Oh I see, I'm to be your henchman, your stuffed bear furniture, your stool!
Mick: I'm out.
May: Mick! Come on! It's not so bad, you'll get to hang out in the sun and you'll be doing you best-est friend a favor.
Mick: You barely like me. I'd hardly call us friends.
May: But you'll be in the sun. It must be cold down there. Plus there's a cookie up here.
Mick: There's no cookie, you would have mentioned it first if there was and even if there was, you would have eaten it, not offered it to me.
May: Hmf, you got me there. .... Just get up here, I'll pretend to be your friend for the day.
Mick: Fine, but you're helping me sneak cookies out of the cupboard.
Monday, December 16, 2013
George: Dear God, get down from there! I know it's only 10 days till Christmas and you haven't bought any presents and you've run out of cash and mom's mad at you for throwing up in her shoes and you lost your favorite cat toy and I hogged all the food this morning, but I'm sure it'll all get better!
Henry: I don't think you're very good at this.
George: You at least got me a present right?
Henry: I'm just going to stay here till summer.
Friday, December 13, 2013
Thursday, December 12, 2013
Dan: Does everyone have their Secret Santa?
Mike: Yeah, got it.
Pinkie: Yeah, yeah.
Henry: Pinkie, everyone knows that you buy a board game every year as your Secret Santa gift. We've talked and we'd like for you to promise that your gift this year will not be a board game.
Pinkie: You can't reveal the Secret Santa to the group! That's bad luck....and Rude!
Henry: Honestly Pinkie, we all really don't care. No board games.
Mike: And no Twister either!
Pinkie: YOU GUYS ARE A BUNCH OF KREATONS!!!!!
Dan: That went well.
Shorty: you guys never let me say anything
Wednesday, December 11, 2013
Fred: Wow, is this Mom's Christmas tree? It's pretty sad looking.
Chris: Yeah, it's like that guy's tree. You know, the one with the shirt.
Fred: Whoever's tree it looks like, it looks terrible.
Chris: Mom says it's the 'family tree' because this'll be its 3rd Christmas.
Fred: It's 3 years old? Wow, mom really has a black thumb.
Fred: Think we can get mom to get something.....fluffier?
Chris: I think she's pretty committed to plopping some jazz hands on this one and calling it festive.
Fred: We'll need to take this one in hand this year then.
Chris: How will we do that?
Fred: Jazz music, fertilizer and um...you'll need to take a nap in there.
Chris: You first.
Tuesday, December 10, 2013
I can do this. I just need to inch a few millimeters closer. Almost there.....almost there.
OMG I can't do it! Get me away, away. Mom!! Mom!! Help! Someone help.
Ok, this is it. I'm gonna do this. I am one with the slide. I love slides. This is going to be soooo much fun. And then I can go inside and eat cookies. Just inch up and slide down. So much fun. The best fun ever.
OMG! Someone save me! This is horrible. Who paints a slide orange? It's like a catastrophe waiting to happen. I'll be a crumpled mess on the bottom by the time it's over. Mom will have to get a new pony. I'll spend weeks in the mending bin with the socks. Help! Help!
[stares off into space for 5 minutes]
Doesn't anyone remember leaving me up here?
Monday, December 9, 2013
George: You're right. This guy is super creepy. Not real though. Mom must have thrown him out here to scare squirrels or something. Now we know he creeps out orange cats too huh?
Henry: I was not scared.
George: I don't know, your tail looks a bit whiter than it was before.
Henry: And your head looks a bit fatter. I guess we both are getting old.
George: You are a terrible sport.
Henry: I know.
Friday, December 6, 2013
Away in a backyard far, far away,
lived a green tortoise whose name happened to be Ray.
Ray liked the outdoors and the tether ball,
but one day he got stuck which wasn't fun at all.
He called for his mom, he called for his dad,
he called out for 911 but they only rescue turtles named Chad.
But luckily for Ray a mailman happened by,
and saved him from his cage of being stuck way up high.
[Remember to play with friends when venturing onto the tether ball court. You never know the mayhem that will follow if you go it alone.]
Hey Fred, what do you get when you mix snow and cookies?
I don't know, what do you get?
An Ice Man.
Ba Bum Chi!
Hey Fred, what happened when the masked bandit stole all the tinsel in town?
[shuddering] I don't know, what?
Tinsel town changed its name.
Ba Bum Chi!
Hey Fred, what happened to the man when he went to Santa's house before Christmas?
Honestly, I really shudder to ask you what, but what?
He got sleighed!
Ba Bum Chi!
Thursday, December 5, 2013
Wednesday, December 4, 2013
Hey! What are you doin' in my yard? This is private property bub. I'm not kidding, my mom will be real sore if she sees you back here.
And what's that you're sittin' on? That looks like one of mom's turtles. That's not allowed! I ask all the time and she says it's mean and I mustn't. If I can't...You Can't!
What's with the pointy hat man. It looks silly. I bet if you were in color it'd be red wouldn't it? You're trying to steel my cuteness with your red hat and your turtle ridin'. Why don't you start climbing trees and cinch the deal?
YOU CAN CLIMB TREES!
Well, I guess I should go. You have yourself a nice day.
Tuesday, December 3, 2013
Hey mom! Funny finding you here. Ummmm, we were just looking for you. You know, to say good morning and I could have sworn I saw something crawling around in the sink. Mike suggested that we check it out and there you are, we're in the sink.
But I don't want you to think we were playing in the water or anything. We're not allowed. We're all very aware and would never bend or break the rules. I know it looks like the sink is wet, but that's probably from this morning when you brushed your teeth, we were just investigating the crawling thing.
No, it kind of disappeared. It looked like a spider to me and it was very creepy. I know how you hate black furry creepy things. I bet we scared it away when we came in here to investigate.
Sooooo, anyway, we'll just be going.
Monday, December 2, 2013
Ben: If it's going to be freezing can it at least snow?
Kaz: I don't think it snows this far south.
Ben: If it can snow in Texas it should be able to snow here.
Kaz: What are you going to do if it snows anyway? Snow is cold and wet and melts and then everything is cold and wet and you have to shovel it out of the way just to walk through all the cold and wetness.
Ben: I was going to make snow bunnies and a snow fortress and snow projectiles and challenge you to snolf.
Kaz: That does sound pretty fun. Snow dance?
Snow Dance: The ancient art of dancing under the moon in a ridiculous outfit in the hopes of tempting the sky to drop copious amounts of snow in your general area. My non-scientific studies show that it is about 30% effective, becoming more effective the more ridiculous you act.