Thursday, November 21, 2013

Crochet Turtle I'm in Sales


I work in sales. I'm pretty good at it. I mean, I'm not the best, but I DO make sales, so I'm not the worst. Look, my ability to sell is not in question here. I thought we were going to talk about the hat. The hat I'm wearing. You hadn't noticed it? What hat did you think we were going to talk about? No I  do not sell hats. I just told you. I work in sales because I was telling you about myself. It's something you do in interviews. Well, the hat has nothing to do with sales and no, I don't know where you can get a similar hat.

Ok, so - the hat. I bought it at a restaurant in Arizona. I..what? Oh for goodness sake. Yes, I said I didn't know where you could get a similar one. We aren't in Arizona are we? And naturally I didn't think you'd want to fly all the way to Phoenix for this hat and I don't know of a place HERE that you can get one. Can we just assume that you are on your own if you want to buy a similar hat? Well, I'm sorry if I confused you.

Ok so the hat. I didn't exactly buy it. - Just please, let me finish the story would you?? It all makes more sense when you don't repeatedly interrupt. Yes, you are the interviewer and I answer the questions, but how can you understand if you keep interrupting. You're only getting one sentence in the story.....Can I continue? -  I was at this restaurant and if you buy the special desert you get a hat. It comes with a bandanna, but I lost that riding the mechanical bull. But the hat was really nice and I liked it and it felt like a cool reward for making a sale that afternoon so I kept it. And that's how I ended up with this hat. I never take it off. My sales have gone up 15% since I got it. You don't break a streak like that.

I don't remember the restaurant name, one of the guys coordinating the meeting made the reservation. Of course I'm not lying. Like I'd really not tell you to keep my streak going, that's....ridiculous. Why are you even interviewing me, this sounds like an interrogation over a hat. If I could remember I would tell you. I'm gonna go, this is getting nuts. Oh sure, if I remember I'll call you. Not.
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