Thursday, October 31, 2013

Crochet Humor Pumpkin Caper

Ghostie 1: Try pulling on the top.
Ghostie 2: It's not budging.

Ghostie 3: Maybe there's a lever or something. Do you see anything that looks like a button?
Ghostie 2: No, I just see orange.

Ghostie 1: There's got to be a handle or button or something. Try kicking it!
Ghostie 2: Do you want to come up here and try? Because I'm getting really tired of you yelling at me.

Gary: What are you guys doing?
Ghostie 2: Umm, nothing.
Ghostie 1: Just hanging out.

Gary: I don't believe you.
Ghostie 2: Ok fine, how do you get the pie out?

<shakes head>
Gary: You guys are messed up.

Wednesday, October 30, 2013

Crochet Amigurumi Halloween Ode

Give us your scary screams and your spooky Howwww-elllls!
Happy are we to hear the cries and the Yowwww-ells!

Run for your life, run for your life,
Scream and Yell! Scream and Yell!

And don't forget your CANDY!!

Happy are we to see you frightened and afraid.
Sad are we to see you happy and joyful.

Please be afraid, very very afraid. Don't laugh at us.

Ghostie 1: What'd you think?
Ghostie 2: Meh.

Tuesday, October 29, 2013

Crochet Pumpkin Gets a Big Head

When I grow up to be a big pumpkin I'm going to scare all the little kids and I won't need any other pumpkins to do it. I'm going to be a lone pumpkin, feared by many, loved by few.

I'll have a cool name like Jack-n-CREEPY and everyone will fight over me. 

I'll rule the porch with an iron hand, no man or squash will cross me. Gourds will live in envy of my awesomeness. 


HOLD IT! You know we're ALL here listening to you right?

Monday, October 28, 2013

Crochet Elephant's Tale Lost Again

I don't know how I get myself into these things. The invitation clearly said 152 km, but I swear I passed the party 86km ago. Unless all that noise was another flock of birds. I think those guys are following me.

I wish I'd brought a gift, everyone always brings a gift. I could have grabbed some leaves or something, maybe some water in my trunk. It seems rude to show up empty handed.

I'm probably too late. Everyone will have headed home by the time I get there. Why did they need to throw a party all the way out here. You can pretty much throw a house warming party anywhere.

Oh, what's that over that the party?!!

No, flock of birds again.

Friday, October 25, 2013

An Amigurumi Crochet Dragon's Indecisiveness

I did my homework? I think I did, but I can't be sure. I definitely handed it in, but I can't remember if i did it.
Room? No, that's clean.
Maybe I forgot to brush my teeth...(breathes into hand)
Ack! Ok, don't breath fire on one's hand. Got it.

This is going to bug me forever.

If I could find my Android I could check my schedule, I'm sure I'm forgetting an appointment. I mean...I'm up here for a reason right?
Where is my Android? Maybe I left it at school, that so sounds like me.
Oh, or it's in the car. I left it in there that time I was using the hands free and left my phone on the dash. But that was like 2 weeks ago.
Backpack? No, I handed in my homework so I would have seen it. Gosh I wish I could remember if I did my homework.

I'm never going to figure this out. Why am I up here anyway?

Wednesday, October 23, 2013

Crochet Orange Kitty Gets a Day Out

Out in the wilderness a feral cat searches for food. He's been on the hunt for several minutes and exhaustion is starting to set in. Thinking back, perhaps he shouldn't have peed on his mom's favorite rug or brought her that "gift," but he could have sworn she liked birds. Alas, he's on his own now, at least for the next hour until she gets back from the gym. What to do, what to do.

A tree! There will be squirrels up there and more birds! What fun. It does look awfully large though and the bark is rough and there are ants on it. It kind of smells like dirt too, and I just bathed. That doesn't seem like a smell I'd like on my tongue.

It would be pretty dramatic to get stuck up there though. Mom would be all worried and have to call the tall yellow guys to come save me and I can cry and cry like I'm terrified. They usually have that scrumptious pink food that mom never lets me have because she says it makes me smell like decaying fish. So delicious.

Maybe I should try the tree in the corner though. The branches are pretty low, I could probably pull off being stuck on the bottom branch. It had a pretty angry squirrel in it last week though. Kept throwing stuff at me - so rude!


Bud: How'd it go?

Finn: We need to get better trees in the yard. I told mom, but she told me to get my butt out of her face. 

Tuesday, October 22, 2013

Crochet Humor Dating for Reptiles

Mike: Do you know any trivia? Girls like trivia.

Biggy: Yeah and food. Talk about food.

Gil: Come 'on, girls don't like trivia and food.

Shorty: I like trivia and food, why wouldn't girls? My mom likes trivia and food.

Gil: Don't say that during dinner, seriously.

Monday, October 21, 2013

Amigurumi Octopii will Rule the World

Chick #1: I swear! I won't tell anyone ever again that you have 8 legs. It's obvious to me now that you have at least one arm. Come'on Blue, you know I was just playing.

Blue: I have two arms!

Chick #1: What? No, that can't possibly be true. You have eight long curly sucker-covered limbs. How about that? I said LIMBS. Totally P.C.........And octopuses don't have hair either dude, just so we're clear.

Chick #2: Octopii have two arms and six legs, how could you have gotten that wrong?

Chick #1: I guess they COULD have hair, but I just don't believe it.

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