Wednesday, December 25, 2013

Happy Crochet Holidays!




From all of us at Crochet By Karin, we hope you are enjoying a much needed vacation with your loved ones.

Best wishes for a Merry 2014!

Warmly,
Crochet By Karin and all my little friends


Tuesday, December 24, 2013

Amigurumi Pony and Octopus Love Family



Pinkie: It's Christmas tomorrow! I've got food purchased, chips, dip - yes, I have the presents all taken care of and stacked under the tree. The tree is up, decorated, watered. Everyone arrives tomorrow and then there's lunch/dinner, late night games and laughing. I've set-up blow-up mattresses pretty much everywhere, all are made up with warm sheets and pillows. The bathroom is stalked with towels, extra soap, toothpaste and dental floss. I grabbed a bunch of fun magazines and puzzle books for kids and gown-ups and brought the sledding stuff down from the attic.

Pinkie: It's going to be soooooo wonderful!

Atlantic Land-Octopus: So why are you here?

Pinkie: Claustrophobia <sad face>

Monday, December 23, 2013

Crochet Holiday Poem



'Twas two nights before Christmas and all through the yard,
Not a snow flake was falling, not even real hard.

The kids were all at daycare and mom at work,
Dad was supposed to buy presents, but instead slept in, jerk.

The presents are all wrapped, the Christmas tree trimmed,
It all looks very pretty at night with the florescent lights dimmed.

In two days time, Santa will come, we hope he brings presents,
Rather than last year, when all we got was a hole in the roof and a  hand full of pheasants.

So everyone smile and be nice to each other,
A very MERRY holiday is coming and we're not afraid to call your mother.


[Above references to 'dad' are in no way related to my wonderful husband who went shopping already and was very successful ;P]


Friday, December 20, 2013

Amigurumi Dragon Saves Christmas




Hey!
Yeah, you. Come here.
Listen, there is a secret room in this house.

No! Really. I'm not joking.
I saw mom go in there yesterday and listen....

I think she's got Santa locked up in there.

Yes! I know how crazy it sounds, but she's been going in with snacks like cheese and crackers and and .. cookies! And then she comes out with wrapped gifts and someone's eaten all the food. It's got to be elves or Santa or maybe even Mrs. Clause.

You need to go in there and save Christmas!

And maybe grab me a present

Thursday, December 19, 2013

Crochet Humor Where'd I Leave That Thing?



Oh my gosh, oh my gosh, oh my gosh. Where the heck is the that gift? I know I left it over here somewhere. Henry better not have taken it, that was for mom. I picked it out special. I could have gotten the red one or even the little brown one. It would have been a lot less effort to the get the brown one, but I thought "you know what? Mom deserves a blue one." So I spent all day sitting and waiting and waiting and sitting and crawling and sliding until the exact right moment and then
BAM!
I grabbed it and it was mine. And seriously!? Where is it? I can't believe I lost it. I just left her for maybe an hour to dry off. I bet Henry found it and now he's going to claim it for himself and give it to mom. That's so wrong! That was totally my gift.

gosh gosh gosh, I just have to find it!


I see it! It's over here by this large rock. But seriously, that's what you got?

Dude.

Wednesday, December 18, 2013

Crochet Humor During the Holidays Woops



Fred: Wow! Did you see that guy fall? It was like "woop!" and then "Crash!" Love it
Chris: That's not cool man. He could have bruised his butt.

Fred: I don't think you can say that word in polite company.
Chris: I'm pretty sure I didn't. You aren't polite.

Fred: Snap!


Tuesday, December 17, 2013

Crochet Holiday Parade



May: Mick! Get up here, we're going to miss the parade.
Mick: We can't see the parade from there. It's all the way in town.

May: I'LL be able to see it if I stand on your shoulders. Come on, grab my hand.
Mick: Oh I see, I'm to be your henchman, your stuffed bear furniture, your stool!

Mick: I'm out.

May: Mick! Come on! It's not so bad, you'll get to hang out in the sun and you'll be doing you best-est friend a favor.
Mick: You barely like me. I'd hardly call us friends.

May: But you'll be in the sun. It must be cold down there. Plus there's a cookie up here.
Mick: There's no cookie, you would have mentioned it first if there was and even if there was, you would have eaten it, not offered it to me.

May: Hmf, you got me there. .... Just get up here, I'll pretend to be your friend for the day.
Mick: Fine, but you're helping me sneak cookies out of the cupboard.
May: Deal.


Monday, December 16, 2013

Crochet Humor Henry Fears the Holidays



George: Dear God, get down from there! I know it's only 10 days till Christmas and you haven't bought any presents and you've run out of cash and mom's mad at you for throwing up in her shoes and you lost your favorite cat toy and I hogged all the food this morning, but I'm sure it'll all get better!

Henry: I don't think you're very good at this.

George: You at least got me a present right?

Henry: I'm just going to stay here till summer.

Friday, December 13, 2013

Crochet Journey to Find Santa



To Santa, to Santa....To Santa....
Where are we going? To Santa.
How do we get there? To Santa.

When will we get there?
..........
......
..
.

Oh hell, where'd I put my watch?

Thursday, December 12, 2013

Amigurumi Fun Secret Santa - A Tale of Woe




Dan: Does everyone have their Secret Santa?
Henry: Yup.
Mike: Yeah, got it.
Pinkie: Yeah, yeah.

Henry: Pinkie, everyone knows that you buy a board game every year as your Secret Santa gift. We've talked and we'd like for you to promise that your gift this year will not be a board game.
Pinkie: You can't reveal the Secret Santa to the group! That's bad luck....and Rude!

Henry: Honestly Pinkie, we all really don't care. No board games.
Pinkie: Fine.

Mike: And no Twister either!

Pinkie: YOU GUYS ARE A BUNCH OF KREATONS!!!!!

[storms off]

Dan: That went well.
Henry: yup
Mike: very
Shorty: you guys never let me say anything

Wednesday, December 11, 2013

Crochet Humorous Christmas Tree Debacle



Fred: Wow, is this Mom's Christmas tree? It's pretty sad looking.
Chris: Yeah, it's like that guy's tree. You know, the one with the shirt.

Fred: Whoever's tree it looks like, it looks terrible.
Chris: Mom says it's the 'family tree' because this'll be its 3rd Christmas.

Fred: It's 3 years old? Wow, mom really has a black thumb.
Chris: Ha!

Fred: Think we can get mom to get something.....fluffier?
Chris: I think she's pretty committed to plopping some jazz hands on this one and calling it festive.

Fred: We'll need to take this one in hand this year then.
Chris: How will we do that?

Fred: Jazz music, fertilizer and um...you'll need to take a nap in there.
Chris: You first.

Tuesday, December 10, 2013

Amigurumi Crochet Pony Gets Stuck at the Top




I can do this. I just need to inch a few millimeters closer. Almost there.....almost there.

OMG I can't do it! Get me away, away. Mom!! Mom!! Help! Someone help.

[deep breath]

Ok, this is it. I'm gonna do this. I am one with the slide. I love slides. This is going to be soooo much fun. And then I can go inside and eat cookies. Just inch up and slide down. So much fun. The best fun ever.

OMG! Someone save me! This is horrible. Who paints a slide orange? It's like a catastrophe waiting to happen. I'll be a crumpled mess on the bottom by the time it's over. Mom will have to get a new pony. I'll spend weeks in the mending bin with the socks. Help! Help!

[stares off into space for 5 minutes]

Doesn't anyone remember leaving me up here?

Monday, December 9, 2013

Crochet Kitties and that Gnome Again



George: You're right. This guy is super creepy. Not real though. Mom must have thrown him out here to scare squirrels or something. Now we know he creeps out orange cats too huh?
Henry: I was not scared.

George: I don't know, your tail looks a bit whiter than it was before.
Henry: And your head looks a bit fatter. I guess we both are getting old.

George: You are a terrible sport.
Henry: I know.

Friday, December 6, 2013

Crochet Tortoise and Tether Ball Do Not Mix



Away in a backyard far, far away,
lived a green tortoise whose name happened to be Ray.

Ray liked the outdoors and the tether ball,
but one day he got stuck which wasn't fun at all.

He called for his mom, he called for his dad,
he called out for 911 but they only rescue turtles named Chad.

But luckily for Ray a mailman happened by,
and saved him from his cage of being stuck way up high.

[Remember to play with friends when venturing onto the tether ball court. You never know the mayhem that will follow if you go it alone.]

Crochet Humor Jolly with a touch of Happy



Hey Fred, what do you get when you mix snow and cookies?
I don't know, what do you get?

An Ice Man.

Ba Bum Chi!

Hey Fred, what happened when the masked bandit stole all the tinsel in town?
[shuddering] I don't know, what?

Tinsel town changed its name.

Ba Bum Chi!

Hey Fred, what happened to the man when he went to Santa's house before Christmas?
Honestly, I really shudder to ask you what, but what?

He got sleighed!

Ba Bum Chi!

Thursday, December 5, 2013

Amigurumi Crochet Animals Love the Holidays



I've got the tree up, decorated it last night. We put the lights up last weekend. I ordered pie and have turkey ready to go in the freezer. I am all ready for the holidays.

Did you buys presents?

crap.





Wednesday, December 4, 2013

Crochet Kitty Henry Gets Confused



Hey! What are you doin' in my yard? This is private property bub. I'm not kidding, my mom will be real sore if she sees you back here.

And what's that you're sittin' on? That looks like one of mom's turtles. That's not allowed! I ask all the time and she says it's mean and I mustn't. If I can't...You Can't!

What's with the pointy hat man. It looks silly. I bet if you were in color it'd be red wouldn't it? You're trying to steel my cuteness with your red hat and your turtle ridin'. Why don't you start climbing trees and cinch the deal?

YOU CAN CLIMB TREES!


Well, I guess I should go. You have yourself a nice day.

Tuesday, December 3, 2013

Crochet Amigurumi Octopii Caught! An Octopus Tale



Hey mom! Funny finding you here. Ummmm, we were just looking for you. You know, to say good morning and I could have sworn I saw something crawling around in the sink. Mike suggested that we check it out and there you are, we're in the sink.

But I don't want you to think we were playing in the water or anything. We're not allowed. We're all very aware and would never bend or break the rules. I know it looks like the sink is wet, but that's probably from this morning when you brushed your teeth, we were just investigating the crawling thing.

No, it kind of disappeared. It looked like a spider to me and it was very creepy. I know how you hate black furry creepy things. I bet we scared it away when we came in here to investigate.

Sooooo, anyway, we'll just be going. 

Monday, December 2, 2013

Crochet Humor Let it Snow



Ben: If it's going to be freezing can it at least snow?
Kaz: I don't think it snows this far south.

Ben: If it can snow in Texas it should be able to snow here.
Kaz: What are you going to do if it snows anyway? Snow is cold and wet and melts and then everything is cold and wet and you have to shovel it out of the way just to walk through all the cold and wetness.

Ben: I was going to make snow bunnies and a snow fortress and snow projectiles and challenge you to snolf.
Kaz: That does sound pretty fun. Snow dance?

Snow Dance: The ancient art of dancing under the moon in a ridiculous outfit in the hopes of tempting the sky to drop copious amounts of snow in your general area. My non-scientific studies show that it is about 30% effective, becoming more effective the more ridiculous you act. 

Friday, November 29, 2013

When Crochet Animals Go Shopping



Blue team, you're on electronics. I want video games, movies, TVs, and gaming systems. Chuck has the list of things we want and you've all reviewed the flyers. Watch out for the entrenched shoppers waiting on timed sales. Don't waste your time on those, time is of the essence. I'll immediately get in line when we get there so just find me once you've grabbed your items.

Green team, you're on housewares, toasters, coffee makers, dishwashers. You've got your assignments. Most likely you'll need to split up into groups of two, don't lose your partner! He or she may be the only person who can save you if you're swallowed by a group of overtired teenagers. Those guys can drag you miles before you can fight your way out. Marvin will be in check out for your group so look for him when you're done. And for goodness sake, don't get lost.

Right, the vans are ready. Everyone got their phones? Good, remember to text me or Marvin if you have any trouble. Good luck out there.

Thursday, November 28, 2013

Happy Amigurumi Crochet Thanksgiving!!




Guffry: This is embarrassing. I'm a prized animal, a trophy. I should be revered by all.
Tom: Just be glad you're on a shelf instead of on the table.

Guffry: How did you swing that anyway? I thought for sure when they caught me hiding under those garbage bags that I was done for.
Tom: Wasn't anything I did, you were lying under the diaper pale bags.

Guffry: That does explain the smell.

[To those who celebrate Thanksgiving and those who don't, to those shopping today and those who aren't, to those who have Turkey and those who have Tofurkey and those who have mac and cheese casserole and hopefully few who don't - have a wonderful day and a wonderful holiday. Best wishes from me to you -- Karin] 

Wednesday, November 27, 2013

Crochet Thanksgiving The Things May is Thankful For.



One more day until Thanksgiving. Mom says I need to improve by thankfulness wishes from last year, but really, I don't see what's wrong with being thankful for chocolate cream pie and spas. Chocolate cream pie makes everyone happy and there's a enough for sharing and she's always telling me to share more. The wonders of being at a Spa .... well it's indescribable. And spa time always relaxes me enough to put up with my sister Maggie, who by far is the most annoying person.

Ok, ok. here we go:
I am thankful for Uncle Joe, he'll be bringing pie. All kinds of pie. Like chocolate cream pie. Yum.

I am thankful for Cousin Crystal, who will arrive soon and hopefully be bringing her mac and cheese casserole again. (She'll expect a hug, I should prepare for that.)

I am especially thankful for Grandpa and Grandma, they'll bring presents and movies and cookies. (They'll want to play games too. I should go find those board games they like.)

I am thankful for Black Friday shopping, because it'll get mom and dad out of the house right after dinner and they won't see me finish off the chocolate cream pie. Also, they'll be shopping for Christmas presents, so it's a double win for me.

I am thankful for Thanksgiving day football, because then all my annoying brothers (and Maggie who for some reason likes football) will be sequestered in Dad's tiny office watching the game leaving me and Grandma with the house to ourselves. I hope we do mani/pedis again.

And finally, I am thankful for all the nice people in town who took the time to put up their Christmas lights early, because I'll be using the light from their decorations to sneak down to the kitchen and eat all the cookies before anyone else gets a chance. 

Tuesday, November 26, 2013

Amigurumi Dragon Does the Hat Make the Dragon?



Dan: Look! I'm a pilgrim. Spot on right? I bet I could fool everyone, we should walk around you could be all like "meet my friend Thomas, he's a pilgrim."

Bean: I don't think that's going to work.

Dan: Why not? It'll be so cool. People will be all confused and will offer me stuffing and pumpkin pie. Think of how much pie we'd get to eat.

Bean: I don't think people are just walking around with pie.

Dan: Of course they will! It's almost Thanksgiving. People are baking. People are traveling. It's all very exciting. They'll have stuffing and pumpkin pie. Trust me.

Bean: I don't want to dampen your spirits but there weren't any dragons when pilgrims were around and even with the hat you still look like a dragon.

Dan: But I feel like a pilgrim! I feel like playing with wooden toys and telling long complicated stories. Not like I can do either of those things, but I really feel like I could do it. Try on the hat, you'll see.



Bean: I do feel pretty Pilgrim-ee. Do you think we could find a wooden circle and a stick?

Dan: Dude, you look like a young Abraham Lincoln.

Bean: Sweet.


Monday, November 25, 2013

Crochet Humor Four Days to Turkey-Time




I'm not here, I'm not here, I'm not here, I'm not here.

No body sees me. It's just in their imagination. I am a doll, a stuffed animal. Merely a toy. No need to cook and eat me, that would be silly to do to a stuffed animal. But you can't even see me so why are we talking about this.

I'm not here, I'm not here, I'm not here, I'm not here. 

Friday, November 22, 2013

Amigurumi Humor Two Little Owls


Two little owls sitting in a tree,
One is older and one is three.

The older one, Jake, didn't want to share,
He was sitting there first and sharing wasn't fair.

John whined and cried and kicked his feet,
Jake called him a baby and accused him of deceit.

A fight broke out when John jumped Jake,
Their mother tried to intercede, but it was too late.

Both brothers tumbled from the tree and landed in the lawn,
Their mother banned them from the tree and called them evil spawn.

Jake and John laughed and laughed at how silly they had been,
Sharing wasn't so bad when your sharing with a friend.

The next morning they climbed back up the tree and said sorry to their mother,
They're up there now, sharing the spot and acting like good brothers.

Thursday, November 21, 2013

Crochet Turtle I'm in Sales


I work in sales. I'm pretty good at it. I mean, I'm not the best, but I DO make sales, so I'm not the worst. Look, my ability to sell is not in question here. I thought we were going to talk about the hat. The hat I'm wearing. You hadn't noticed it? What hat did you think we were going to talk about? No I  do not sell hats. I just told you. I work in sales because I was telling you about myself. It's something you do in interviews. Well, the hat has nothing to do with sales and no, I don't know where you can get a similar hat.

Ok, so - the hat. I bought it at a restaurant in Arizona. I..what? Oh for goodness sake. Yes, I said I didn't know where you could get a similar one. We aren't in Arizona are we? And naturally I didn't think you'd want to fly all the way to Phoenix for this hat and I don't know of a place HERE that you can get one. Can we just assume that you are on your own if you want to buy a similar hat? Well, I'm sorry if I confused you.

Ok so the hat. I didn't exactly buy it. - Just please, let me finish the story would you?? It all makes more sense when you don't repeatedly interrupt. Yes, you are the interviewer and I answer the questions, but how can you understand if you keep interrupting. You're only getting one sentence in the story.....Can I continue? -  I was at this restaurant and if you buy the special desert you get a hat. It comes with a bandanna, but I lost that riding the mechanical bull. But the hat was really nice and I liked it and it felt like a cool reward for making a sale that afternoon so I kept it. And that's how I ended up with this hat. I never take it off. My sales have gone up 15% since I got it. You don't break a streak like that.

I don't remember the restaurant name, one of the guys coordinating the meeting made the reservation. Of course I'm not lying. Like I'd really not tell you to keep my streak going, that's....ridiculous. Why are you even interviewing me, this sounds like an interrogation over a hat. If I could remember I would tell you. I'm gonna go, this is getting nuts. Oh sure, if I remember I'll call you. Not.

Wednesday, November 20, 2013

Amigurumi Crochet Bunnies and Coffee



Yeah, I drink coffee. Of course I drink coffee. It takes a lot of caffeine to make my ears stand up like this.

It's not all muscle strength like those other rabbits brag about. There aren't enough muscles in the ear to make them look this good.

No, no, no. All real bunnies count on the strong flavor of coffee and an extra helping of caffeine to keep their ears standing at attention. We don't shy away from the strong stuff either. No wimpy tea for us. A double heaping spoonful of Colombian with a shot of espresso all the way. I drink at least 4 if not 6 cups of it a day.

And bouncing, you know we can't jump without that extra burst of energy. Hell, half the hopping I do is just the jitters taking over. Most of the time I don't even realize I'm moving. But that's the way of it. It's bunny life and you either get with the program or go hang out with floppy. 

Tuesday, November 19, 2013

Crochet Humor Where is that Crochet Turkey



Ben: Guffry, you can't hide in here until December.
Guffry: Yes I can. I ate a big breakfast, I've got a magazine and a blanket. I'm all set. You just hop along and forget you saw me.

Ben: You don't really blend in with the shoes.
Guffry: I blend in fine.

Ben: The orange in your feathers kind of sticks out.
Guffry: I BLEND FINE!

Ben: Don't shoot the messenger. It's not my fault Thanksgiving is next week. You could be a bit braver you know.
Guffry: Says the Bunny Rabbit. They don't eat you on Easter do they?

Ben: I'll just go.
Guffry: I should think so.

Monday, November 18, 2013

Crochet Thanksgiving is Coming



Did you hear about silly old Guffry?
No, what?

He's hiding!
Why's he hiding?

Thanksgiving's next week. You know what that means.
Oh yes, it'll be time for old Guffry to become dinner, poor man.

Not like I have much sympathy. By the time Easter rolls around I'll be making eggs for boiling and dying. It'll be ghastly to see how my beautiful eggs get all painted up.
Don't forget the Deviled Eggs dear.

Gosh, I'd forgotten. Well, now I have no sympathy for Guffry. At least he's been around a  bit and had time to have some fun first.

I have to admit though, those Deviled Eggs are good.
Very good. 

Friday, November 15, 2013

The Difference Between Amigurumi Crochet Turtles



Shorty: I like Muriel, I do.
Mike: So what's the problem.
Biggy: She's perfect for you. Didn't the date go well?

Shorty: It was good. She's fun. But we don't really fit long turn.
Gil: Is it the size thing? She is a shell or two taller than you.

Shorty: No! I like that she's bigger, I like her personality, I like everything. But long term, it's just not going to work out.
Mike: Just say it. We're going to bug you till you spit it out.

Shorty: It's embarrassing, I don't want to say.
Gil: Just spit it out!

Shorty: I took her to my place and....she couldn't fit in the door!

Biggy, Mike,Gil:..................Ahahahahahah!
Biggy: Tough luck! None of us can get in there either. You need to build a bigger door and then she's yours!


Thursday, November 14, 2013

Crochet Humor Three Little Owls...



Three little owls, sitting on a fence.
One was named Jon and one was named Lawrence.

The one named Jake thought the other two were lame.
Lawrence made fun of Jon and called Jake a pain.

Jake hit Lawrence right in the nose.
Jon pointed and laughed until he got hit with a hose.

Jon attacked Jake and Lawrence jumped in.
They all fell off the fence and landed in a bin.

Their mother was a kind patient owl.
Unfortunately, due to them, she has a permanent scowl.


Wednesday, November 13, 2013

Amigurumi Doll and Bear



Mick: Sometimes May, you can be a really not-so-nice person.
May: That's silly, I'm nice all the time. Why just yesterday I was walking to school and a dollar fell out of this man's pocket when he pulled out his cell phone. I ran up and it wasn't a dollar, it was $10!

Mick: And you gave it back to him?
May: Of course not. How is he going to learn not to put spare bills in his pocket with this phone. That is what wallets are for. No, I took Lilly out for ice cream. It was her birthday and I even let her pick the ice cream flavor. So you see, I am very nice. Even to Lilly who isn't very likable and kind of smells.

Mick: You don't normally let her pick?
May: [rolls eyes] Mick,she likes pistachio. That's not even a real flavor.


Tuesday, November 12, 2013

Crochet Humor Cat Scheduling



Duke: Hey Henry, how's it been?
Henry: Good! You know, climbing trees, chasing stuff.

Duke: What sort of stuff do you chase?
Henry: Let's see....on Monday I'm going to chase a mouse, Tuesday another cat, that's Sam, he's a friend of mind. Wednesday a mouse again. Thursday is dedicated entirely to moths. And Friday is for the birds.

Duke: Do all these people know that you're planning on chasing them?
Henry: Of course! It'd be kind of rude just to spring on them. I'm sure they have schedules of their own.

Duke: So you don't eat them?
Henry: Of course not! I mean what happens happens, but I have no intention of eating them.

Duke: I'd say that's dreadful, but you are a cat.
Henry: Mmmm, that's the rub isn't it?

Monday, November 11, 2013

Crochet Amigurumi Remember Veteran's Day



This is a great parade.
Agreed.
Totally.

Why are they carrying flags?
It's Veteran's Day.
Yeah.

What is Veteran's Day?
Really?
You don't know?

I really don't know.
Oh....
This is why we don't let you make big decisions.

Just tell me!
Veteran's Day is the day we celebrate those people who have served in the military.
Yeah, and Uncle Steve is out there so start waiving before I poke you in the eye.

Got it, sheesh. Oh hey! There he is, WAVE WAVE
Woo!
Go Steve!



Friday, November 8, 2013

Crochet Atlantic Land-Octopus




The impressive Atlantic Land-Octopus sits atop a stone bench enjoying a cool fall day in northern Massachusetts. 

Atlantic Land-Octopii have become quite prevalent in recent years and make sport of chasing other animals and juggling them. In the past few years reports have come in related to dogs, cats and even farm animals being seized and juggled. A day hiker traveling along the US/Canadian border reported seeing a Land-Octopus juggle two sheep and a cat for more than 20 minutes.

In their normal state the Atlantic Land-Octopus is quite docile. Sitting without moving for hours at a time. It is speculated by researchers that they are actually sleeping with their eyes open as a way to ward off potential attacks. When provoked they become agitated and will poke their attackers in the eye with their long tentacles. 

Hold on....I'm getting a report that a band of lesser Land-Octopii have gathered just behind the bench and are planning some sort of attack.

Yes! There they go. This is remarkable, a collection of smaller Land-Octopii have attacked this larger purple one. 


They appear to be trying to knock the larger Land-Octopus over or perhaps climb to the top. The reports coming in are mixed and we do not currently know the reasoning for the attack.

Oh! The purple Land-Octopus is now awake and is poking each smaller Land-Octopus in the eye. They struggle to maintain ground against the larger opponent, but they've lost the advantage. There goes one! Swiftly dropped to the ground below. It appears to be licking its wounds and scuttling off.

The other two are backing away now. One appears to be placating the larger Land-Octopus by bowing and ...oh my, one of the smaller Land-Octopii on the bench has now pushed the other off. No worries viewers, the falling Land-Octopus appears to have landed in a puddle of mud and other than being incredibly dirty, appears to be fine.

The remaining small Land-Octopus has now made a truce with the larger purple Land-Octopus and has rushed off to retrieve ice cream, brownies and whipped cream for the large creature - the traditional Land-Octopus peace offering.

This was a great day for science my fellow viewers. I doubt we'll see something quite as impressive for some time.



Thursday, November 7, 2013

Gerry the Crochet Giraffe Learns a Valuable Lesson



Gerry: ooooooh, flowers. Yummy flowers. This is GREAT! We should have come here long ago.
Gus: I don't eat flowers.

Gerry: Just try them, they are so delicious. I can't get enough. I might just eat every one! Try them Gus! You'll just love it.
Gus: Flowers give me gas.

Gerry: They do not! Flowers are great. They're so delicate and colorful and bees use them to make honey. What's not to like about flowers? You're just being silly. If you tried one you'd like it.
Gus: I'm sure I wouldn't.

Gerry: Well, I'm not letting you ruin my good time. These are the best flowers I've ever had. I want to come here every weekend and....and.....
Gus: Cat got you tongue?

Gerry: No I just....well, that's odd.
Gus: Stomach hurt?

Gerry: A little.
Gus: Told ye'.


Wednesday, November 6, 2013

Crochet Humor Mick Gets Caught



Oh! uhh Hey Mom! Funny running into you here. Can I get you something?

What am I doing in here? Oh, you know....just cleaning.

Yeah! See how all the bottles are lined up now and I've turning them so you can read the nutritional information. That'll really help you with the diet you're on.

Who told me about the diet? Well May might have mentioned it, but I can't say for sure.

<blinking>

So.....what brings you here?

May wanted cookies? We don't have cookies! I looked everywhere so I know for a fact that there are no cookies.

No, no. I wasn't going to eat them! I was trying to organize them, they belong up here next to me so I was just looking for them so I could put them in the correct location.

OK I'll just be leaving now. See you later mom.

Tuesday, November 5, 2013

Amigurumi Doll Getting to Know May




I am May. Not the month may or a representation of the month, just May. As in, my NAME is May.

So many people misunderstand. Anyways, my name is May and I enjoy spending time with friends, gazing longingly out the window, arguing with my friend Mick, playing make believe and helping my friends with their problems.

And I'm a great listener! I listen to my friends all day long. I'm not quite sure what they're saying all the time because it's difficult to stare longingly out the window and pay attention, but I usually get the gist of it during the last five minutes or so.

And I'm great at keeping secrets too! Just yesterday Mick was telling me how he's been stealing food from the pantry and I told him not to worry, his secret was safe with me. And I came up with the best solution to the problem too! I just had my mommy get me cookies from the cupboard when I knew Mich was in there and voila! No more problems. But really, stealing is wrong.

I truly am the best friend to have in the world.

(Big thanks to Vanja Grundmann for the use of her pattern on Ravelry (http://www.ravelry.com/patterns/library/sleeping-buddies-lavender-stuffed-dolls) in the creation of May.)

Monday, November 4, 2013

Crochet Humor Pony Opposites



Pinkie: How far is it exactly?
Bud: It's about a mile down this brick path.

Pinkie: Is this really brick? It looks like stone. Pretty wobbly stone too. You'd think they'd cement it together or something.
Bud: Brick/stone, I don't care. We're going a mile done this way.

Pinkie: Well technically we just walked twenty feet so we have 0.99 miles to go.



Friday, November 1, 2013

Crochet Halloween Can Be A Bummer.



This is so great. So awesome. It's really happening. I thought mom would hold me back till next year, but here I am with Crazy Pumpkin and Jack. I wonder how many kids we'll get. Ohhhh, do you think they'll be impressed by me? I hope so. I hope they're all like "OMG I wish I had one of those!" and "Where did he get his hat??!"

I should have brought my camera. Maybe someone will have one and can tweet it to me or text it or whatever, as long as I get a picture. And I'll be all like ROAR! When they come by so I look as scary and creepy. So awesome.

Boo: Dude?
BenPumpkin: Oh hey Boo! Did you come to check me out? Jealous right?


Boo: Ben Halloween was yesterday.

Thursday, October 31, 2013

Crochet Humor Pumpkin Caper



Ghostie 1: Try pulling on the top.
Ghostie 2: It's not budging.

Ghostie 3: Maybe there's a lever or something. Do you see anything that looks like a button?
Ghostie 2: No, I just see orange.

Ghostie 1: There's got to be a handle or button or something. Try kicking it!
Ghostie 2: Do you want to come up here and try? Because I'm getting really tired of you yelling at me.


Gary: What are you guys doing?
Ghostie 2: Umm, nothing.
Ghostie 1: Just hanging out.

Gary: I don't believe you.
Ghostie 2: Ok fine, how do you get the pie out?

<shakes head>
Gary: You guys are messed up.


Wednesday, October 30, 2013

Crochet Amigurumi Halloween Ode



SPOOK-tacular!
SPOOK-tacular!
Give us your scary screams and your spooky Howwww-elllls!
Happy are we to hear the cries and the Yowwww-ells!

SPOOK-tacular!
SPOOK-tacular!
Run for your life, run for your life,
Scream and Yell! Scream and Yell!

And don't forget your CANDY!!

Happy are we to see you frightened and afraid.
Sad are we to see you happy and joyful.

Please be afraid, very very afraid. Don't laugh at us.

Ghostie 1: What'd you think?
Ghostie 2: Meh.

Tuesday, October 29, 2013

Crochet Pumpkin Gets a Big Head



When I grow up to be a big pumpkin I'm going to scare all the little kids and I won't need any other pumpkins to do it. I'm going to be a lone pumpkin, feared by many, loved by few.

I'll have a cool name like Jack-n-CREEPY and everyone will fight over me. 


I'll rule the porch with an iron hand, no man or squash will cross me. Gourds will live in envy of my awesomeness. 

I'll...

HOLD IT! You know we're ALL here listening to you right?

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